Too Smart To Love
by LSMMPGBFECLRMCFD
Summary: Paw patrol fanfic: Rocky, as a sort of intellectual, doesn't understand love and only sees it as a weakness. For him, being in love is just becoming dependent of someone, thus he decides to block love completely from his life to avoid being weak. And still, he fell for Zuma Main: RockyxZuma. Don't like don't read
1. What is love?

Set in Rocky's perspective— also, all of Zuma's 'R's are converted into 'W's because of his speech impediment; it's not a typo

~ a year before the present~

I was sitting in the lookout with the rest of the pups during one of those slow days. One of those days when the people of Adventure Bay seem to just not get into any trouble. One of those days when our help isn't really needed.

Rubble and Zuma were switching channels on the TV, waiting for Apollo to start, Skye was searching for a toy to use to play outside with Marshall and Chase, and I was reading a book on aerodynamics for one of the projects I'm planning on working on

"I hate days like these" I hear Zuma say

"What do you mean?" Asked Marshall

"Well, we'we not needed for anything. That's bowing" he complained

"I don't think it's really that bad that we don't get any rescues from time to time. I mean, it's great that we get to help people around here, but sometimes it's great to get a break from all that" Marshall replied

"I personally don't have any problem with not getting any rescues. It gives me time to work on all the projects I want to finish" I said, smiling at the thought of all the possibilities to do on a slow day

At that moment Ryder walked in while Zuma gave me a 'I really don't get you sometimes' kind of look

"Hey, pups. I'm going to Katie's. I wouldn't assume any of you would like to come along, do you?" He said with his normal confident smile

"I'd like to, but Apollo is gonna be on in a few minutes, so I think I'll stay" said Rubble, looking enthusiastically at the TV

"Great! Well, see you later, pups! I'll call you if we get any missions" Said Ryder, heading towards the entrance of the lookout

"Wait a second," said Skye, sensing something was up. "What's up with that smile?" She asked grinning, practically knowing the answer

As soon as Ryder saw Skye's grin, I was stranged to see he began blushing a mad shade of red

"W-What do you mean?" He asked nervously. I don't think I had ever seen Ryder act to strangely. Now _this_ caught my attention

"Don't play dumb with me. You have a crush on her, don't you?"

"W-What? Why would you think that?"

"Oh, please! I see that smile in your face every time you talk about her"

I carefully observed Ryder's strange behavior. He was sweating, tense, blushing, and the weirdest thing considering his obvious nervousness, he was smiling shyly

"Okay... I might have a thing for her..." he said as he continued blushing. In fact, he could barely make eye contact. He just kept staring at the floor

"I knew it! You're in love with Katie!" She said with her tail wagging

"Love?! What is love?!" I accidentally blurted out my thoughts

And then the wirdest thing of all happened... everyone just stared at me with a very confused expression, jaws dropped

"You don't know what love is?!" They said in unison

Now I was the one blushing. I'm usually the one who knows everything, except for Ryder, but now I'm the one who has no idea about something that will need to be explained to me

_"So this is how the others feel when I talk about the engineering of my inventions" _I thought as everyone kept looking at me with skepticism

"You really have no idea what love is?" Asked Rubble

_"Great, even Rubble knows more about this than I do" _I thought while still uncomfortable of everyone staring at me

"Well... I do know love as how you feel towards your family and relatives... you know, because they took care of you" I said while not trying to sound like an idiot in front of the people who know me as an intellectual pup

"Yeah, love is much more than just that. Sure, you can love your family and all, but we're talking about a different and more complicated kind of love... here, let me explain it to you" said marshall before giving me a long yet confusing talk about loving someone who's not your relative

~Back to the present~

Well that was the first time I heard about love. And to this day...

I still don't get it

**Hey, everyone! This is my first story on FFN (originally uploaded on wattpad as LSMMPGBFECLRMCFD), so I hope you liked it. This chapter was kind of short, but it was only to test the main idea of the story and know how you liked it so far, but** **future chapters **_**will**_ **be longer**

**-LSMMPGBFECLRMCFD**


	2. Still in need for answers

The moment I heard from Marshall about love, I knew that if I couldn't understand it, it was because it made no sense. According to Marshall, "Love is what you feel for someone when you feel butterflies in your stomach"

Well he had to know nothing about anatomy or zoology in order to believe it is possible to have butterflies in your stomach. And even if it was possible, it would definitely be something unpleasant. But I didn't interrupt him, so he kept going

"You feel love for someone who you want to spend your life with, like you're inseparable. It's when there's just something about someone that you just can't get enough of. Someone who you enjoy making happy, and who makes you happy"

I still didn't get how love works, but he kept on going...

"There are many things that can make you love someone, like they're kindness, or their ability to understand you, or their appreciation of you're talents, or simply their overall personality"

"Uhh... I still don't get it" I remember saying

"Mmm... well, is there anyone who fits that description?"

Everyone kept staring at me, waiting for my response

"Well... people in Adventure Bay are kind to pretty much anyone, I honestly don't think anyone fully understands everything I do or like to do, and everyone appreciates my talent because I use it to help others, but no one realy does it to me in particular, they are all just greatful for everything we do... so, no. I guess I don't love anyone" I said with a serious face. I can't be bothered of not having what I don't understand

Yet everyone looked at me with disbelief

"If you say so, but there's really more to love that just those things... there are many factors you should consider...", he continued. By the look on Marshall's face it seems like he doesn't know what he's talking about either

Although, going back to what he said... factors? "Now we're talking!" I said exited. If there is a specific amount of factors to consider, I can just write them down and attempt to use them later. "Alright, give me all the factors so I can annotate them" A that point, my tail was wagging in exitement. On one hand, this whole love thing seemed ridiculous so far, but on the other hand, there was finally a challenge for me. An opportunity to learn something that everyone seems to know so that I don't seem ignorant to others

"Uh..." Marshall seemed to hesitate on his response. "You see, Rocky, love is kind of... more complicated than just a few written notes"

"Oh, well if you guys learned it, I certainly can. I know a lot of stuff you would never understand" I said confidently, without realizing I had just insulted all of my friends at once

Marshall was getting irritated, and that's not even common for him since he's usually at a happy mood

At that point I was just trying not to get him mad at me

Marshall being mad at you is actually worse than it seems. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, he ignores you. And I don't even know if he does this on purpose, but every now and then he glares at you. Not with hate, but is kind of a glare to remind you of what you did to get him like that. The worst part is, his glares really have an effect on you. It's like a trick that makes your conscience feel heavier with every glare. The only good thing is that it doesn't last forever, since he usually continues to talk to you a couple of days after what you did

So since I didn't want to carry the weight of a guilty conscience for several days for a comment I didn't think through, I decided to leave

"You know what? I think this whole love thing is a little confusing for me, so I think I'll just leave for a while" I said nervously as I exited the lookout

And since then, I still haven't found a definition of love

But today is a new day, even though it's been a year since the last time I tried to understand the apparently complicated subject that is love

Today I woke up motivated. I'm prepared to learn everything and exactly what love is

"You know what, Rocky? I think it's time you finally find the answers you were looking for" I say to myself while rubbing my eyes and getting ready to get out of bed

Pretty much as soon as I open my pup house door I regret stepping out of bed. I stayed up reading last night and the repercussions were starting to show, as I felt incredibly tired. The morning sun shone brightly over my face, forcing my eyes to adjust to the light. I stood there for a few seconds, contemplating whether I should go back to bed

However, that feeling of regret went away as soon as I saw Chase barking to pull out his megaphone and wake up the rest of the pups in a... lets just say 'not very gentle' way

"_Dodged a bullet there_" I think to myself as I cover my ears to then hear the deafening sound of Chase's already loud voice speaking over the megaphone

Soon after that I hear groaning coming from every pup house as drowsy pups come out of their pup houses

"Hey, dude" I hear from a very familiar voice. It was my coworker and best friend in the entire world

"Hey, Zuma" I say back to the chocolate lab

"You know, Wocky, thewe's this place neaw the beach whewe people thwow out mechanical stuff. I've seen all sowts of stuff, like dwones, jet skies, and that kind of thing..." He says while still half-asleep

"Sounds interesting"

"Yeah, I thought you would say that, so...well, I thought you'd like to maybe come with me latew and see if we can use anything. I wanna see if we can build a jet ski. I know I've alweady got my own, but with that one I always have to wowwy about not damaging it and twy not to get it diwty, so I thought we could build one...if you want to, that is" he said looking down and making little circles on the ground with his paw

"Sure! You know I love recycling" I said with a smile, making Zuma look back up happily

"Cool! Well, we can go after bweakfast if we don't have any missions" I hear him say with a soft smile before going towards the lookout for breakfast

"Well, I guess I can just learn about love later. Right now I can focus on something I'm very familiar with: recycling" I say to myself as I too make my way into the lookout

~ at the site ~

"Well, this is it" I hear Zuma say, smiling while looking at all the mechanical trash thrown out

"Well, you know what I say, don't lose it, reuse it!" I yell excitedly, running towards the mountains of metal

"Dude, look! A jet ski! And it's in pewfect condition!" I hear Zuma yell, pointing towards a... jet ski?

"Is that what you call a jet ski in perfect condition? That thing is half destroyed! We're gonna have to patch it, change most of the wires and check if there are any good ones left, and probably replace the motor if we want to get that thing going" I say while doing a quick analysis of the current status of the half destroyed jet ski to know what to fix

"Well, yeah, but you'we the genius! You'll figuwe it out!"

"Alright, but I'll need your help"

"On standby fow you, dude"

And so we worked on the half jet ski for a couple of hours between silence and some casual conversation before I got an idea

"Zuma, can I ask you something?"

"Suwe thing"

"What is love? I know Marshall already explained to me last year, but he's really not good at explaining this kinds of things!

"Oh... well... I'd say love is when you genuinely enjoy someone's company, and they make _you _happy while you twy to make _them _happy"

"Mmm... would you care to explain?"

"Well... it's kind of like a welationship of mutual gain"

"Huh... if you put it like that it sounds really simple. Are you sure that's it?"

"Pwetty much, dude"

"Interesting... but, how do you know about this? Do you have any experience with love? Like having a so called 'crush'?"

"I guess you could say that, suwe"

From looking at the damaged jet ski for so long I forgot about Zuma being there with me. I was so caught up in the work that I almost missed seeing the sun's last rays of sunshine before going into hiding being reflected on Zuma's face

But now I was so caught up in that beautiful image I didn't notice myself drooling and staring. Luckily for me, Zuma was glancing at the almost completely fixed jet ski, so I had time to put myself back together and continue the conversation like it never stopped

"Anyway, would you care to tell me who that is or was?"

"Who?" Zuma glanced to me then back to the jet ski

"Well, for lack of more appropriate terms, your 'crush'"

"About that, I'd wather not tell" With the suns last rays of the day I could just barely see Zuma blushing lightly, so I decided to drop it

"Alright. I respect that. But at least tell me, what was it like being in love with someone else?"

"I don't weally know how to descwibe it. It was pwetty much just fantasizing about how it would be to be togethew"

"So was your love ever corresponded?"

"Not weally"

"Oh... so was it rejected?"

"Well, the thing is... I nevew weally told him" as soon as those last words escaped Zuma's mouth, his face expressed regret, he tensed up and started blushing madly

"Him? I thought males only enaged in relationships with females"

"I MEAN HEW!" Zuma shouted so loud almost everyone in the beach nearby heard him

"I mean hew" he said once again, this time more softly and quietly

I could sense something was going on with Zuma, but this suddenly seemed to make him uncomfortable so I pretended like I didn't notice it

"Um, alright. Anyway—" as I am trying to change the subject, I am interrupted by the sound of Ryder's voice through both our pup tags

"_Paw Patrol, to the lookout!"_

As I hear Ryder's call I instinctively turn around and head to my truck to drive to the lookout

"Dude, awen't you fowgetting something?!"

"What?"

"Um, I don't know, maybe the thing we spent houws wowking on?"

"Oh, right" I say as I get out of my truck

Finally, we carried the almost complete jet ski into my truck and drove to the lookout

_"Who knew love was that simple. A relationship of mutual gain... that actually makes me wanna be in love, even if I still got some questions unanswered..._

_Wonder if I'll ever be in love?"_


	3. The end of a good day

I arrive to the lookout after a long (but fun) day of building and repairing. The jet ski Zuma chose to fix was almost complete. We identified all functioning wires and replaced the damaged ones, patched all the holes using other scraps of metal laying around, and extracted the damaged motor. Now all we need to do is repair the motor if possible, else create a new one from scratch (of course we could buy one, but what's the fun in that?) and probably wash and paint it if we want to make it look good

Anyway, back to the present, I arrive to the lookout and rush in so we are informed about the mission

Apparently, even after carrying the jet ski onto my truck and driving here, we still made it in time since we saw the rest of the pups also rushing into the elevator

As usual, as we run towards the elevator, a clumsy Marshall trips into something on the floor and is sent flying our direction

However, I had already anticipated that and managed to pull me and Zuma away from the rest of the pups who are then tumbled to the ground

"My bad" I hear Marshall say, causing everyone to giggle

As everyone stands back up, we go up the elevator to the top floor of the lookout, and with the usual flashing light we are almost instantly changed into our mission suits

"Ready for action, Ryder, sir!" I hear Chase say in a military voice, standing straight as we await instructions

"_I swear this pup thinks he's in the military sometimes_"

"Well, pups, we got a problem" said Ryder, pressing a button on his pup pad revealing the animation used to show us the situation. "Some workers were inspecting some pipes when one of them ended up breaking, leading the city's sewer system into the ocean, and now they are having trouble containing it"

The animation on screen showed a broken pipe spilling stuff into the ocean

"Now, I know that it's getting dark and it's already late, but if we don't fix this soon it might cause some serious damage to our beach"

Looking around I notice Zuma's expression. He was petrified

"For this mission, I'm gonna need..." Ryder said as he pressed a button in his pup pad

"Zuma" Zuma was brought back by the image of an anchor with an orange background on the screen, which was clearly referring to him

"Zuma, I'll need you to secure the broken pipe so we can fix it"

Zuma seemed to listen, but it seems like the mission shocked him so much he wouldn't even reply with one of his typical phrases

"I think I'll need to talk to him before we take on the mission" I say to myself. We can't risk having him messing up because he's so focused on protecting his so beloved beach

"I'll also need Rocky" Once again, a symbol appeared on screen, this time with the recycling symbol, referring to me

"Rocky, I need you to use your abilities to fix the pipe and make sure no more spillages occur"

"Green means go!" I reply with one of my own phrases

"Alright! Paw Patrol is on a roll!"

Zuma seems to try to put himself together for the mission, but he's clearly having some trouble doing so. It's like he just can't help but to worry about the beach

I'm pretty sure he's always had a thing for the beach

Even when he first joined the Paw Patrol he mentioned the beach being one of his favorite places on Earth, though I still don't get why

I mean, despite of the water, the beach is a fun place. You can play volleyball or just relax on the sand, which is cool, but for Zuma, it's something more. Something which I don't understand

But at least that's the good thing between Zuma and I. We may not really understand each other, like I don't really understand his fascination for the beach or the water, and he doesn't seem to understand my fascination for recycling and building, but we do accept each other. We know that we are both different, but we also know to respect that

I guess that's why we became such great friends

Anyway, now it was my time to act like a good friend and help out Zuma. Because even though he doesn't want to show it, he is crumbling inside

"You know this is just like any other mission, right? Minor risk, low difficulty. Nothing out of the ordinary and nothing to worry about" I say reassuringly to the lab as we reach our pup houses to then transform them into our vehicles

Zuma didn't reply

His jaw was still dropped. He slowly turned to face me with a look of terror. I actually had to fight the urge to laugh at his expression, but luckily I managed to control it

"I'm not really sure if that was of any help to Zuma, but I'm sure he'll be better once we are done with the mission"

~ at the site of the spilling ~

We arrive to the site, which is a small cliff from where you can see the now blackish ocean water. At the bottom of the cliff, you could see many pipes running through into the undergrounds of Adventure Bay, with one of the pipes seemingly fissured, spilling drainage into the ocean

I step out of my truck, looking at the crowd of workers worryingly looking down at the pipe that's spilling waste into the beach

"Alright, people, we need to inspect the area and the spilling" said Ryder, looking at the pipe spilling massive amounts of some blackish liquid into the blue ocean

"Zuma, I need you to get down there and temporarily secure the pipe"

Zuma just stared in silence

"Come on, Zuma, we need you here now" I say smiling reassuringly. This encouraging stuff is really hard but hopefully I can get him back on track

Zuma then gives me and Ryder a confident look before stating his catchphrase "let's dive in!"

"_Huh... I guess it did work. Well that's a relief"_

"Just be careful not to 'dive in' into the polluted water!" I tell him before he jumps into the ocean

Then, with gentility and grace, I see a brown figure swim through the ocean near the broken pipe

"Alwight, Wyder, I'm vewy close to the pipe, but I don't think we discussed exactly _how_ I was supposed to seal it"

"Don't worry about that, your suit should have a quick cement dispenser installed that you can use to temporarily seal it, then we can work on permanently fixing it once it stops leaking"

"What? When did you have the time to install that?! You know what, nevewmind. I'm sealing it now"

"Alright, we should get going down there to get a permanent solution and check the rest of the pipes" I say, looking at Zuma stuggle to seal the fissure, but eventually managing to do so

We are lowered by an elevator the workers built to access the pipes. Now that Zuma sealed the fissure we can use it to lower us down safely

I take a good look at the recently damaged pipe and at the others that follow

"This should be easy to fix, but I'm more worried about the rest of the pipes; they seem quite vulnerable. If we want to prevent any more spillings, we should probably—"

I am interrupted by Ryder getting a call in his pup pad

"_Ryder, we need your help_!"

"Mr. Porter? What's wrong?"

"_My restaurant... it's on fire_!"

"What?! Alright, we're heading there right now" said Ryder before ending the call

"Are we really heading there right now?" I asked. "How could we work on another mission without finishing this one first?"

"Well, we've already secured this, so it should hold up at least until we're done"

Then, just as if it was only waiting for the right timing, another pipe broke, followed by another one, then another one

"You're right. You should probably stay here to fix that"

"What about Mr. Porter?"

"We'll just have to split up. Since I don't need you for this mission, I'll just have to leave you here to take care of this while attend the more urgent mission"

"Two missions at once!? I didn't even know that was possible!"

"Trust me, Rocky. You can handle this"

Ryder turned to his pup pad to call the pups

"Pups, we have another mission, but we don't have time for the regular procedure, so just meet me outside Mr. Porters restaurant with your gear, all of you. We'll need as many hands —and paws— in this as we can" said Ryder as he went up the elevator

As Ryder continued to rise while I was left on the site of the pipes to get to work, I could just barely hear Chase's voice say "copy that, Ryder. We'll be on our way"

I could not believe Mr. Porter's restaurant was on fire, but I had to get that off my mind and focus on the pipes that were now polluting the ocean three times faster than the first one

"Zuma, I'll need you to... Zuma?" I had just noticed Zuma wasn't anywhere near the pipes. Taking a look around I noticed Zuma was... swimming?! Really?!

"Seriously, Zuma?! We're on a mission and you still have to go for a swim?!" I yelled, hoping I could catch his attention

Luckily I did, as I could see him turn around surprised to see the now three fissured pipes once again spilling waste into the ocean

"I thought we wewe done with that?!" He said with a worried expression while slowly swimming in my direction

"Well, apparently not, so let's get working"

"Where's Wyder?" I hear him say, now rising from the water and into the shore at the bottom of the cliff where the damaged pipes were

"He left for another mission, but now we gotta focus on this one, and we need to move fast. I'll need you to seal the fissures again"

"On it" He said as he pulled put the quick cement dispenser and began patching the fissures

"I think all of these pipes should be replaced, so we should just patch them to make sure they hold until they are; I'll get my tools"

After a few more minutes of securing pipes we were finally done. Stepping back to double check all the pipes had been patched and secured, I called Ryder to see how they handled their mission

"Hey, Rocky. Are you pups done with your mission?"

"We are. How did yours go? Did you save 's restaurant?"

"We did. Lucky for us, it was a small fire and we put it out quickly with minimal damage. Now we're back in the lookout, and you should be too since it's already getting dark"

"Roger that, Ryder. We'll be on our way"

"Alright, Zuma, we are finally done, so we should be heading back to the lookout"

"Aww, alweady?" Zuma complained, swimming around in the area near the just fixed spilling

"That pup sure has something for the ocean" I said to myself, shaking my head as he continued swimming around

"Fine. We can get going now" he said as he began to swim in my direction

"Aren't you even a little bothered by the fact that the water you were just swimming on had recently been mixed with waste from the sewer?"

I ask him as he reaches the bottom of the cliff and we get into the elevator to head back

"Nope. Not at all" he replied with a smile, but was interrupted by a loud "thump" as the elvator stopped roughly and suddenly about halfway up

"Why did it stop?" Questioned Zuma

"I don't know. Let me see if I can fix it"

I turned around and began to inspect the elvator

"Uh-Oh"

"What is it?" Asked a concerned lab

"The elevator's rope wires are breaking"

"Well, can you fix it?"

"No, I'm afraid I can't reach it. If they're the only things holding the elevator it means the elevator might fall soon"

"What? What awe we gonna do about it?"

"I don't know. I'm trying to think of something"

"Can't we just jump into the ocean?"

"What?! No! That's not an option!"

"Why not? Awe you willing to die just to avoid the watew?"

"Of course not, but I should at least make sure that's the only choice" I say as I look at the elevator, hoping for an alternative

"We don't have time to ovewthink, Wocky. We'we going to jump"

"Just give me time to—"

In the blink of an eye, I can just barely see a brown figure moving towards me at great speed, just before tackling me away from the elevator platform

"Wha-ah!" As I fall along with Zuma I manage to hold on to the elvator platform by a paw, but he grabs me by one of my back paws and we end up hanging from the edge of the elevator

"Wocky, what awe you doing?!"

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" I've got to admit I was terrified at that point. Not just by the idea of getting wet, but I don't even know gow to swim!

"Wocky, you'we not gonna die! I'll just swim you to shore, but you have to let go!"

"I-I can't let go" just looking down at the sea is terrifying for me. I might die there!

"Wocky, I'm sowwy"

"Huh? For wha- ARGH!" I yell in pain as I look down to see Zuma, who... bit my paw? HE BIT MY PAW!

Still yelling in pain, I let go of my other paw and before I knew it, I was falling straight to the ocean...

_Who would've imagined a good day could go down so quickly_...


	4. That' day

Darkness...

Darkness all around me

I can't find light anywhere

I can't move

My body went numb

Now all I can do is stare at the darkness...

Hoping that something will bring back the light

But that's not all

There's an unrecognizable figure among the dark void

Is it coming after me?

There's no way to know, it almost blends in with the darkness

Is it here to take me away?

Is the figure moving through the darkness a signal telling me my time has come?

But there's so much I have yet to accomplish

Will all my hopes and visions vanish along with me?

Will my name be remembered after my departure?

Or will it be burried along with the names of those before me?

But I guess I am in luck

For my death will be peaceful

For I feel my body slowly dying, but I feel no pain

For I can reflect upon my achievements, and know that I can leave knowing I lived a great life

Because even though I can feel my lungs pushing out the remaining air, and my heart slowing down, it's actually quite beautiful

I can relax in the dark void as my body begins to shutdown forever

So take me away, strange figure

Because I'm ready to face the fact that my time has come

I can see your approach as my eyes start closing

And I can feel your presence penetrating my soul

As you delicately reach me, to take me to the unknown...

"_Hey! That was not delicate at all_!" The dark figure began to pull me by the collar so quickly and agressively it almost started choking me, even though I had already ran out of air. And I thought I was unable to feel pain before death... guess I was wrong

"_This is not what I imagined death to be like_"

The mysterious figure was pulling me out of the darkness as I saw some light shine through as it lifted me

And all of a sudden, I was brought back into the world. My lungs instinctively filled with air again. My eyes slowly open. Looking around me, I saw my surroundings were covered in sand. I was back at the beach

Looking around me once more I could see the 'figure' was actually Zuma, and the whole 'void of darkness' was just the ocean

I guess I kind of overreacted a little while ago

_Wait... the ocean?!_

"What in the world happened to me!" I try to shake off the feeling of being wet, but it's hard to ignore

Zuma, who was lying next to me in the sand, seemed to be both surprised and relieved to see that I was awake

"We fell from the elevatow into the ocean"

"Wait a second, now I remember... you bit me!"

Zuma's face turned from relieved to serious... and a little mad

"Well, you'we the one who wefused to jump!"

"Because that was a crazy and terrible idea!"

"Oh, you weally think so? Look at the elevatow, genius" Zuma was now being sarcastic, and honestly that's a little worrying. He's usually, as others seem to refer to him, 'chill'

Looking at the elevator, I noticed there was no elevator. The elevator platform fell into the bottom of the cliff

"That could've been us, all because you wewe too scared of getting in the watew"

"Oh..."

Zuma sighs, then continues

"...Wocky, I know you have a feaw of watew, but I'm stawting to think we should do something about it"

"D-Do what?" I asked nervously. _I think I know where this is going_

"Get wid of it"

"And _how_ do you plan on doing that?" I was noticeably uncomfortable

Zuma looked at me with a serious face

"Wocky, we'we gonna take you fow swimming lessons"

"Swimming lessons!? But-"

"No 'but's, Wocky, it's for youw own good. Youw feaw of watew almost killed us; you need to get ovew it, or at least leawn to contwol it. I'll talk to Wyder so we can stawt soon, pwefewably tomowwow. Wight now we should head back to the lookout"

With all that had happened lately I didn't even notice it was already dark

Zuma looked at me, more concerned than mad

I looked at him with the so called 'puppy eyes', begging him to not tell Ryder about the incident, but it had no effect on him

"Come on, we gotta get back"

I just sighed. "_I guess there's really nothing I can do about it, but he does has a point_"

We headed back to the lookout where we found the rest of the pups watching a rerun of Apollo, and I was going to join them when I heard Zuma talking to Ryder

"Hey, Zuma. Why did it take you guys so long to get here? I thought you were done with the mission?"

"We wewe, but we had... an _incident_"

"Oh, what happened?"

"I'll need to talk to you in pwivate"

Ryder seemed kinda surprised, but he just nodded and walked with Zuma outside of the lookout

_I think I need to hear this_, I think as I run to the door and sneak out to hear their conversation, however, I am stopped by my backpaw, which is still wounded from Zuma's bite

By the time I managed to sneak out and hide from Zuma and Ryder, ready to eavesdrop their conversation, I realize that Zuma had already told Ryder about what happened and offered for him to give me swimming lessons

"Well, I would be happy to help Rocky get over his aquaphobia, but I'm not sure if we could start soon, since we still gotta help Mr. Porter rebuild the parts of his restaurant that were affected by the fire, and we're approaching the time of the year when we get the most rescues..."

"But then when? We got to stawt soon. Wocky's fear of watew is out of control, and we can't wisk compwomising future missions. Plus, we weally got to help him. After all, we awe a team"

"Hm... I don't know. I really want to help him but this is definitely something that is gonna take some time to do"

Zuma sighed "Alwight, I undewstand"

Ryder hesitated for a bit, bur after a few seconds his face lit up, meaning he got an idea

"Hey...what if _you_ gave him the swimming lessons?"

"Me?" Zuma blushed lightly

"I mean, I won't be available to do so every day, but since you are less often needed for missions and are a great swimmer, you would be a perfect teacher for Rocky! What do you say?"

"..." Zuma hesitated "well, I guess I would be a good teachew...so yeah, why not"

"Great! You can start tomorrow while me and the pups help Mr. Porter. Meanwhile, lets head back inside"

As Ryder said this, I quickly sneaked back into the lookout

"So, what did Ryder say?" I pretended like I didn't already know the answer, but I sure knew what was coming

"He won't be able to help us with your swimming lessons, so I'll do it. Starting tomorrow" even when I already knew what he was going to say I still couldn't help looking disappointed

"Welax, Wocky. You'll see it was wowth it once you get over your feaw" Zuma said with a recomforting smile and a pat in the back, which luckily managed to calm me down

I couldn't sleep that night. Thinking about my fear of water, I started thinking about _that_ day...

It was a rainy day that day. I used to love rainy days. My owner, a twelve year old named Daniel, would go out against his father's wishes and just stand in the rain, and he would take me with him

I don't know why he liked standing in the rain, but every rainy day he would take me to a nearby park and just stand there, without a raincoat, just regular clothes

But his father really didn't like that. Every time Danny came home wet, his father would yell at him for several minutes, and Danny would just stand there looking at the ground and nodding as if he had learned his lesson, but he never really did

So that rainy day, Danny came home from school as usual and seeing it was a rainy day, he grabbed a leash and attached it to my collar, knowing how curious I was to the point where I would fail to recognize when I was in danger or lost

But just as we were about to leave the house, his father pulled up in front of the house

"Oh no... he has been drinking again" I remember Danny saying worryingly as his father approached the house

"Where do you think you're going" his father said with a deep, dominant voice

"N-Nowhere" he responded quite shyly

"Do you think I'm stupid, you little brat? I can see the leash. You and your damn dog are going for a walk on the rain, aren't you" he said with an annoyed but scary voice

"Yes, father" he said in a low voice

The man held an empty bottle of some brand of alcohol in his hand

"Well, you ain't goin' anywhere"

"But I want to go— I already finished all my chores and homework"

"Did you do the dishes?"

"Yes, father"

"Did you do the laundry?"

"Yes, father"

"Did you clean the bathroom?"

"N-No"

"Why not?"

"Because you didn't tell me to clean the bathroom"

"Well now I'm telling you to do it, so you should've done it. Now you'll stay here and do it"

"But that's not fair! I've already done everything you actually told me to do! You just wanna keep me here and yell at me for something!"

"Are you challenging my authority, you little brat?"

"Don't talk to me like that!"

This was weird. Danny usually just kept quiet as his father yelled at him

"Don't you dare tell me how to talk to you, you little piece of sh*t! I'm sure if your mother was still alive she would think you were a disappointment!" Yelled father as he grabbed Danny by the collar and pinned him against the wall with his free hand

"Argh! Let me go!" Danny struggled to be free of his father's hand

"No. I'm tired of you disobeying me, so this time I'll teach you a lesson you will never forget!"

In the blink of an eye, father's hand holding the bottle swung through the air and smashed it against Danny's face, leaving horrible bruises all across it, and the worst part is, it looked like he was going to continue

I was usually quiet. For some reason, father didn't like it when I talked, so I usually stood in silence, but this was too much

"Stop it!" I yelled as I quickly gathered the courage to run and bite father's leg

I was quite young at the time, but I sure could bite. I still remember the feeling of my canines sticked into his leg as he screamed in pain

I heard a "Get off me!" That was quickly followed by a "THAT'S IT!"

Father then grabbed _me_ by the collar (literally) and went into the kitchen before aggressively throwing me to the sink

"You see what happens when you disobey my rules, you dumb dog?!" He said as he put the plug on the sink and turned on the water

"Now you are both gonna learn a valuable lesson today!" He said as he gave me a hateful glare

"I have been wanting to get rid of you ever since Danny and his mother brought you home from the streets, and now's my chance to do so"

The water quickly filled the sink. Knowing what would happen if I didn't move, I tried escaping, but father caught me and looked at me for a second, then said with a mocking tone "What!? I thought you liked the water?!"

"Well let's see if you like this!" He said before submerging me into the water, which by now had filled the sink about halfway, which was already too much for my size

And I don't know for how long I was submerged. 10 seconds, 20 seconds, 30 seconds, maybe even a minute, but all I know is that it felt like hours before his hand stopped forcing me into the water and I managed to pull my head out to see Danny running towards father and I while begging him not to kill me, only to be almost knocked out by a single puch from him

"DANNY!" I yell, but am interrupted by father once again forcing me into the water

This time it felt like I was submerged for days, but eventually I could feel father's hand let go of me, and as I swim and stick my head out of the surface again I could see Danny holding on to father's leg

"RUN, ROCKY!" I heard him yell as he held on tightly to his father's leg, which slowed down his movement

I ran from the kitchen and headed towards the door, which had a small doggie door mom had built two days after they took me home

As I ran towards the door, I had flashbacks of everything that happened since I moved in with them (yes, flashbacks inside of a flashback)

I can't believe mom built the doggie door all by herself. Father refused to help because he thought it was a bad idea for them to have a dog, but mom decided she would do it by herself

She brought a bunch of tools from the garage and used a saw to make a squared hole in the bottom of the door and proceeded to install the plastic doggie door she had bought

And that very night was when it happened...

Father, Danny and I were in the livingroom. Father was watching TV while Danny and I were reading a book on the greatest inventions of the twenty-first century

"I'm going to the supermarket. You guys need anything?" Mom asked as she opened the door

"Wait, why are you going out this late? It's 10 p.m and it gets kinda dangerous out there for you to be going alone. I'm going with you" said father turning off the TV

"Alright. I need to buy food for the dog. So far, we've been feeding him things like sausages and meat, but it's time we get him some actual dog food"

"Wait, you're going out this late for the dog? No, I'm not going out for that" he said as he sat down again and turned the TV back on

"Well I am, and don't even think about trying to stop me" Mom said confidently

Father sighed "Well, I guess there's no point in trying to stop you, but be careful"

"Right, like anything would happen to me" She said as she left the house

Ironic that she said that, because that same night was the... _incident_

The police said it was probably a mugging gone wrong, that she might've tried unsuccessfully to defend herself, and it could've been why she was shot. But I guess that really makes sense, because even though I only knew mom for three days, I knew she was the type of person to fight back

And since then father had changed

He used to be kind of angry at me because he didn't want to have a dog, but after mom's death he acted like he hated me, as if he was blaming me for her death

He also started drinking... a lot, and seemed to always be mad at Danny, even when had done nothing wrong

All of those flashbacks and memories flooded my brain as I ran through the small doggie door and out of the house, but it wasn't until I decided to look back that I realized Danny's words may have been his last, as I heard him scream in pain, but I knew it wasn't a good choice to go back in, so I left. I ran to some alley and layed down in the rain, tears filling my eyes knowing I wouldn't see Danny again, and cried myself to sleep.

And since _that_ day, I lived in the streets, until Ryder found me, that is

But the memories from _that _day kept on repeating in my mind throughout the night like they were in loop. But when they finally stopped, and I felt myself slowly drifting to sleep, I hear a noise outside of my pup house

Something knocked on the door. I decided to ignore it until I heard someone call out

"Wocky, time to get up! We need to get ready to start the swimming lessons!"

_"Sh*t _"

**Hey, everyone. This chapter was kind of larger than I expected, but I felt like it was necessary to include everything in a single chapter rather than dividing it. One thing to be clear, some may find strange that Rocky refers to his owner's dad as "father"****, well you should know that was intended. The explanation for this is that after Danny's mom died, his relationship with his father weakened, and Danny only referred to him as "father", a name Rocky got used to using**

**-LSMMPGBFECLRMCFD**


	5. Dive in

"C'mon, Wocky, you gotta wake up!"

I just groaned and tried to go back to sleep

I can't believe these horrid memories kept me up all night

"Well, Wocky, I twied doing you a favow, but if you don't want to wake up, I'll just wait until Chase wakes evewyone up with his megaphone in just a couple of minutes... Oh, look, thewe he is now" As Zuma said this I heard the groans of Chase getting ready to start his day

That was my signal to surrender to Zuma and come out of my pup house before being forced to by Chase

I guess it was thoughtful of Zuma to wake me up before Chase did, considering he doesn't even try to be gentle at it, but I still didn't want to get up

"Ruff, megaphone!"

As soon as I heard this, I scrambled out of my bed, opened the door to my pup house, and covered my ears, which Zuma did too

"ALRIGHT, EVERYONE, IT'S TIME TO GET UP!" Chase yells into his megaphone

And just like every day, I hear groaning coming from every pup house as drowsy pups stepped out of them

Talking about drowsy, I notice Zuma is energetic, contrary to how he normally is in the early mornings, drowsy. I guess he put effort into this, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing...

Zuma then turns to me and smiles

"I see you'we finally up. Now we gotta eat bweakfast befowe youw swimming lessons"

I sigh. "Okay, I guess there's really no point in trying to fight it" I say as I rub my eyes

"That's the spirit!" He said jokingly

I try my best to seem ready, but I can't hide the fact that I am exhausted both emotionally and physically from last night. That's definitely not a good state to be in just before going for something considered important

Although I still don't get why it seems like such a problem. Sure, I'm scared of water. I can't remember the last time I took a bath with actual water, but other than that it hasn't bothered me after all the years I have lived with such fear

Yet Zuma had to step in to try to fix something that I wouldn't even consider to be broken. I'm not sure if that was malevolent or thoughtful of him

Well, knowing there was nothing I could do about it, I went to the lookout to eat breakfast and afterwards the two of us headed to the beach in Zuma's hovercraft

Ryder was going to join us at least for a while, but he got a mission just before we even left the lookout

The mission involved Chase and Skye, something about a criminal running to the forest to hide from the police, but I didn't get the details as I heard it while leaving the lookout. Anyway, since the mission only involved those two pups, the rest wanted to come along to see me trying to beat my fear for the first time, but I refused, saying that they should be ready in case they are required for a mission

Of course they could've come along and still be ready for any incoming missions, but the truth is I used it as an excuse because I didn't want them to see me being weak. And I wanted the same for Zuma, but since he is the one giving me the swimming lessons, there was no way to keep him from coming

Though it really didn't worry me for Zuma to see me being weak. With him it's just... _different_

To know how supportive Zuma is kinda gives me courage. I know that I can be honest with him, and that he won't criticize the way I am, like others do

Sure, the pups are always nice to me, but it's not exactly because they like me very much, they kinda just know to be nice to everyone, all while I know that Zuma is genuinely nice to me in particular, which I guess is one of the things I like about him

Funny how we are the complete opposite of each other yet we are best friends. He likes water, I certainly don't. He is always relaxed, I can get stressed very easily. He is spontaneous, I overthink everything. He can be the soul of the party, I am a wallflower. He can befriend anyone easily, I'm more "complicated" for others to understand... and the list just goes on and on

It seems like the more I think about Zuma, the less likely it seems that he did this with bad intentions, so I should at least give it a try

"We'we hewe"

I was brought back by Zuma's voice, and looking around I realized we were already at the beach

Zuma got out if his hovercraft and looked at me, waiting for me to get off

_Come on, Rocky, you can do this_

However, just the sound of the waves made me nervous, so I quickly found a way to stall what was coming, "So, are we going to do this right now? 'Cause you should know we're supposed to wait about 30 minutes after eating before swimming, and we ate breakfast just a couple minutes ago, so... maybe we should just wait"

"I know that, but we'we not going to go thewe yet. You can't leawn how to swim if you can't even touch watew, so we'll do baby steps"

"Oh... right"

"So, follow me" Zuma said as he walked towards the ocean, then stopped at a site the ocean water just barely reached

"Youw fiwst step will be to stand hewe, and just feel the watew touch youw paws"

It seemed like an easy step, but just the thought if it brought shivers down my spine

"I...uh..."

"What's wrong, Wocky? Don't wowwy, I'll be wight hewe with you"His voice was so sweet and reassuring it gave me the courage to step right next to him...which I regretted immediately

As soon as I felt the water touch me, I froze up. I could no longer move, and Danny's voice echoed in my head

"Oh, no... he's been drinking again"

His screams repeated themselves in my head, getting louder each time

"Wocky? A-Awe you okay?" I could just barely hear Zuma's voice among the screams, but I still couldn't answer

I just stared with a blank expression, and even though I couldn't manage to talk, I was internally screaming in agony

A voice inside my head kept saying "_it was your fault. Everything was your fault_"

I was brought back by something touching my shoulder, but everything that had happened made me confused, and... scared, so I instinctively yelled "GET OFF ME!"

By the time I realized it was just Zuma, who was now looking at me with deep concern, I felt it was just too much

I burst into tears as I backed away from the sand and prepared to start running away, but I am stopped by Zuma bringing me into a hug. He didn't even say anything, he just held me as I emptied my tears in the side of his neck

We stood there as I cried on his shoulder for several minutes. I could see the people in the beach looking at me with concern and confusion, but I ignored them and continued to cry as I nuzzled Zuma's neck

I can remember him not knowing what happened, but still holding me closely as he said "It's okay, Wocky. I'm hewe", and "Evewything is going to be fine"

So after all my tears had dried out, I heard Zuma say "I'm sowwy. I didn't know it would be like this, I—"

"No. You... you didn't do anything. You were just trying to help, so really, don't blame it on you" I said while still sniffling a bit

"Well, if you say so, but... you mind telling me what that was all about? You nevew told me why you wewe afwaid of watew, but I didn't want to push it, though now it seems like it would be bettew fow you to tell me; to get it all out"

I hesitated for a bit. I have never told anyone about what happened _that _day, but I guess if he's trying to help me he deserves to know the truth

And so I told Zuma everything. And by everything I mean every single thing, and he just listened

After a while, I concluded, "And... I still miss them everyday"

"Sounds like you weally loved youw family"

"Yeah, I guess I did... huh, I never realized all of this was love"

Zuma smiled "Well, it seems like it was. You weally loved—"

"What changed father, why Danny became more silent and less joyful, why it still hurts to remember them, and why I have aquaphobia... it was all because of love. I guess the previous definition I had on love was incorrect; it is not simply a relationship of mutual gain, but shared pain"

Zuma seemed surprised at my realization. "I think you'we getting the wrong idea about love"

I ignored that comment as I was taking cognizance of the logic that was coming to my mind "So, if loving my previous family was the cause of this mess, all I have to do is forget about them to revert the consequences!"

Zuma looked kinda bothered by that logic and spoke up, "Look, I get that you don't seem to understand love, but you should know ignowing it won't fix the pwoblem"

"Why not? It makes perfect sense to me"

"Well it won't, twust me"

"Hmm, then how? I can't bare to live with this forever. Trying to face my fear made me notice it was way worse than I thought; I have to get rid of it"

Zuma sighed "You'we pwobably not gonna like this, but if you want to get ovew youw feaw, you'll have to do the opposite... you'll have to embwace it"

This whole chat was helpful because it helped me relax, but this got me nervous again

"Wha-how?" I couldn't even speak right

"Just... get in the watew again, and think about Danny... just think of how pwoud he'd be if you ovewcame your feaw— I'm sowwy, _when _you ovewcome youw feaw." Zuma gave me one of those recomforting smiles again and a "you can do it" look

_I hate how those tricks always get to me_

I sighed "Fine, I'll try again"

Zuma smiled happily to see me aproach the water again and layed down to see me try

"_Alright, I can do this_" I thought to myself as a small tide came in my direction

_I can do this. I am brave. I am ready. I am not afraid. I am— nope, nevermind! . _I ran back to safety just before the water hit me

"I can't do this!" Zuma seemed kind of disappointed, but then he got up and said "You know what, yes you can!"

He walked next to me and said "I'll be wight hewe with you. Wight hewe by youw side"

I blushed a little and said "You promise you won't leave me?"

This is ridiculous. I am the independent pup; I don't need anyone to stand by my side. My motto used to be literally "Do it by yourself", yet having him stand next to me is making me feel...

Secure. Sheltered. Supported. Safe. Shielded... though I don't know why, but I definitely do not like it. Being dependent means being weak

I am _not_ weak

Yet I still want him to be there with me

I sighed in defeat and let him accompany me as I face my only fear

I touch the water again

I hear Danny screaming again

I am confused again

I feel scared again

I hold on to something around me. Anything

I want it to stop

I need it to stop

With a blank look, I hold on tighter, only to realize I was holding on to Zuma

But he doesn't do anything about it. He just says really softly, "It's okay, Wocky. I'm hewe fow you"

I take a deep breath and think about Danny. Holding on tighter, I try to think of something beyond _that_ day, and... it works

I can see mother again. I only spent three days with her, but I can still remember her. In fact, I am surprised my brain remembered her face so well... it's almost like she's right there with me

I can see Danny, too. With him I spent six months, but his face had been carved in my memory, the difference is now I'm not hearing his screams, just see his normal self. He was unique. He liked to do things eve if others found it weird or didn't understand it. He would stand it the pouring rain in regular clothes, or lay on the sidewalk for no reason, or sit in front of busy stores and carefully observe everyone. Why? I don't know. I never knew. He was just... particular. Just particular

He was very observant, so he really enjoyed watching people around him interact, or just to look and try to understand the world around him

"_Did you know, Rocky, that people form circles in social gatherings? It's so weird. At first, you can see two people facing each other, but as another one comes in, they shift into a small triangle, then with more people, they become a small circle, and as more people join, they move to accommodate the others, creating a bigger circle. It's so practical and efficient for people to be connected and be able to talk to everyone in the group comfortably, but they do it unconsciously. They don't actually go "hey, we are multiple people wanting to interact at once, so lets use a circle as our position to be able to coverse with every individual inside of our social group", they just do it. They could choose a square, rectangle, pentagon, parallel lines, or many other choices, but they always choose a circle that accommodates the size of the group"_

He was so observant and curious, just like me

"What's got you smiling so much? Did you remember your family?"

I was brought back by Zuma's comment, when I suddenly realized I was standing there and smiling like a fool, but I didn't care, it was still very good to remember them after all this time

I turned to Zuma, who I hadn't noticed was now laying on the sand near me

"I can... remember them... I can see them again"

Zuma smiled at this and said very softly "I told you it would be worth it"

I couldn't disagree, it _was _worth it. The fear that lasted almost my whole life, was now gone... just like that. If I had known it was that easy I would've done so a long time ago

"Thank you, for this. I'd never imagined—" I was interrupted by my pup tag receiving a call

"_Hey, pups. I know you're busy right now, but we have a mission for you, Rocky, and I guess if you want, you can take a break from the swimming lessons after the mission, since you've already been at it for two hours"_

I was shocked at hearing this

"Two hours! I've been standing here for two hours!" I wanted to act more calmly at this, but it had really taken me by surprise

"Oh, yeah, sowwy about that, but you seemed to enjoy yourself standing there as the tides came, so I thought I'd just leave you alone for a while, but even if it would seem like we didn't get very far with this, we actually did. In fact, I was expecting it for us to spend a lot more than two hours before you even agreed to get into the water, and now look at you now, loving it. We could even go swimming together once you learn how to!" Zuma said wagging his tail in exitement

_Wow. Zuma usually considers swimming his 'me' time. I can't believe he would share that with me_

"_Good to see you made some improvement already"_ said a voice coming from my pup tag. I had forgotten we were still in a call with Ryder

"_Anyway, I need you, Rocky, to come to the lookout for the mission ASAP"_

"Right. I'll be on my way" I say I head to my truck

"Well, if I'm not needed, I can stay here and swim some more"

"Actually, I just remembered I didn't bring my truck; we came here on your hovercraft, so you'll either have to give me a ride, or walk your way home when you're done swimming"

"Alwight, you can take the hovewcraft. I could use the walk anyway"

I've got to say, I was actually disappointed of hearing this, for I hoped we would return to the lookout together as we discussed what the next steps for my swimming lessons will be, or just talk. I'm not really talkative myself so I rather just listen to Zuma, who sure loves to talk. And there goes another thing at which we are opposites, yet I still enjoy it, I could hear him talk all day, plus his rhotacism is actually really cute, how he pronounces my name as "Wocky" instead of "Rocky"

_Wait... cute? No, I mean... peculiar? Yeah, let's go with that_

Well, now I just have to take everything off my mind, because after happened during our last mission, I have to regain Ryder's trust on this one, so I have no time to be chatting with Zuma or thinking about his adorable— I mean peculiar— speech impediment and focus

_Just gotta focus..._


	6. A Rocky Life

After a couple more missions throughout the day, we finally went to sleep, and I had to get ready for tomorrow, since it will be the day I actually learn how to swim, but then it got me thinking about Zuma. How did we become such great friends? And why would he agree to do such a thing as helping me get over my fear? It all brings me back way back to when I was a pup...

I honestly don't like to brag, but I was —and still am— a genius. As a pup, I learned letters and numbers faster than anybody else. I got into reading books at a young age, and by that I don't mean "One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish", it was more like mathematics, advanced chemistry, physics and engineering

Though being the smart pup didn't make me acclaimed by others, more like rejected

Back to when I was at the puppy orphanage, the rest of the pups bullied me, saying that I was a freak and no one would ever adopt me, though I really didn't care about anything they said. I was happy being different, and after some time, I had accepted no one would want me, and learned to always be alone; to not need anyone, and to live by that I made up my motto, "do it by yourself", which I gladly followed

I liked observing things, such as people interacting, listening attentively at which words bullies would use, thinking they would have an effect on me, and looking at which preferences or standards people would have when adopting one of us, though I never tried to use them to be chosen, since that would be faking it, and it would mean that in order to avoid being returned to the orphanage or worse, kicked out into the streets, I would have to change myself to live by their standards of a dog, which, by the way, were undignifying

I remember so many people of all kinds coming into the orphanage with generally the same preferences: affectionate and playful, and that was completely unfair!

They didn't even give you time to get to know them, they just expected you to lick them all over the second they walked in. But that doesn't make any sense. I consider licking someone a sign of trust and friendship, which simply cannot be given to anyone without even talking to them once

And as to being playful, it would be illogical to assume all dogs would always want to play. We have feelings, you know?! Though it seemed like the other pups didn't see it the way I did, and they agreed to always be playful, even when they were tired, they still pretended to be wanting to play. It was all simply stupid

So while others were always ready to meet new people and be adopted, I wished to live by myself, and instead focused in reading to expand my knowledge. But it wasn't until I read about this amazing person, Thomas Edison, that I realized what my passion was, inventing

At first, I would sneak out of the orphanage to get materials from a nearby waste depot, which was easy, since there were far too many pups for my absence to be noticed, and even when the bullies couldn't find me they would just assume I was hiding from them

I started by building simple things, such as a toaster, then I studied the orphanage, analyzing everything from pipes and electrical stucture, to building structure

Then I moved on to electrical and mechanical stuff. I rebuilt broken drones, and eventually, built a remote controlled toy car from scratch

It was all going well for me until one day when returning from the waste depot with a damaged electrical scooter's motor to inspect and hopefully fix, that I was caught. Not by anyne from the orphanage, but by a very curious 12 year old boy

"What are you planning on doing with that? 'Cause if you're planning on using that as a chew toy, I got bad news for you"

I was startled, since I was used to going unnoticed by humans, but this kid caught my attention. He was alone, near a waste depot, which was definitely strange for someone his age

"I'm smarter than that, I-I'm just going to inspect this. I've never worked with a motor like this one before" I said, a little shyly

"Yeah, I could see you were smarter than that. Just wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing. Where's your owner?" He said looking around

"Where are your parents?" I said defensively

"Whoah, no need to get so defensive. They're somewhere near me, I just know to take care of myself. You?"

"They may not be near me, but I can definitely take care of myself" I said before continuing to drag the motor with my muzzle

"Wait, are you a street dog? But, that can't be, your fur has only one layer of dust, which suggests you have had baths but have just gotten dirty from looking for that thing you're dragging"

"Well, I'm not. Good observation by the way, but that 'thing' is actually the motor from an electric scooter"

"Oh, so you're not a street dog, and you don't have an owner... wait, are you from that puppy orphanage over there?"

"Y-Yes"

"Huh, I didn't know they let the pups out freely like that"

"They don't... can you promise not to tell anyone?"

"Umm sure, but I think I got a better idea of what to do with such a unique pup like you. I'm Danny, by the way"

"Oh, I'm Rocky"

Just at that moment, a woman came looking for someone

"Danny? Oh there you are! What were you doing here! I told you to stay close to us!" She grabbed the kid and pulled him into a quick hug before grabbing his hand and dragging him out of there

"Wait! I met an interesting puppy today! His name is... what was your name again?"

"R-Rocky" "_Damn it, Rocky, stop being so awkward! "_

"His name is Rocky, can we keep him?" He asked as his mom seemed to hesitate

"Come on! He has no home! Look at him, he's a street dog!"

I was confused at first, but I quickly realized what was going on, so I decided to follow along and not interrupt. And that sure got her

"Oh, my! Look at you, little fella, with no home? Here, I guess we can take you in"

From that day on, I lived with Danny and his parents for six months, though I only spent three days with Danny's mom, I still lived happily for the other days up until _that _day, and afterwards I lived in the streets until Ryder found me

Though I can't lie; being a street dog was easy. I would often grab stuff from the trash and pretend to be eating it near an outdoors restaurant, and that would easily trick people into giving me free food. Other times, I would use a drone I had rebuilt to distract costumers and... well, steal their food

Of course I'm not proud of what I did, but I had no choice, if I wanted to survive it would be by any means necessary

Though one day, while I was using the drone, I noticed a 12 year old eating alone, which to me seemed like a perfect target. I directed my drone towards him and purposely made it crash into the ground so it seemed like it was being used and was lost or malfunctioned, and it managed to catch his attention

It seemed weird that it took him a bit to react. The people around the restaurant didn't mind the crashed drone, but he first scanned the area for almost a minute before getting up to get it

As soon as he did, I flew it to safety and rushed into his seat with the remote in my paw, only to reach an empty plate. But... there was no way. I had been observing the boy for a while and it semed like he was only taking his time at eating his meal, but no; the plate was completely empty, and it seemed like it had been for a while, so then why did he wait?

"Nice drone. Did you make it yourself? I can't see any company name on it and the pieces seem reused"

He acted so calmly to see me scavenging for food, but I was startled and got into a defensive position. I wanted to leave, but he got me curious

"I've seen you before. You use the drone to distract people and take their food, don't you? That seems like a clever plan, but can I ask why you are searching for food? Are you a street dog?"

"M-Maybe"

"Well you seem to have it all figured out, but I think I got a better idea of what to do with such a unique pup like you"

These words brought a sense of déjà vu to me, but the last time I heard those words it all led up to _that_ day, so I ran away

But can you really blame me? Last time I had a family one of them ended up trying to kill me. Maybe I just wasn't meant to have a family, else why would my mom die during labor? Or my dad get captured by animal control? Or father try to choke me to death? So I ran like there was no tomorrow. Even when I couldn't even see him anymore, I kept running. I could not let this happen again

I would _not _let this happen again

I ran as fast as my legs could take me and dashed into some alley where I had lived for a while. I had no place for refuge. I was alone in the world. But, how is it that after so much time of wanting to be alone, I was for once feeling...lonely?

"_No. Dependence is attachment, attatchment is helplessness, helplessness is vulnerability, and vulnerability is weakness. I am neither of those things nor will I ever be, so I do not need anyone. I can do just fine by myself"_ I would tell myself while trying to feel 'at home' with what was definitely the place that would make me feel the furthest from home I had ever felt

A small, stinking alley full of trash and street cats in search of food where the sun's rays could not reach, making it dark all the time. That's what I called home

But hey, at least it was better than living with father, so I swallowed my pride and layed down on the hard, cold ground and tried to sleep. I hadn't been able to eat at all that day but meeting that boy kinda drained all the energy out of me. But that wasn't the last I would see of this boy

Next thing I remember was being woken up by two curious pups about my age...

"Is this him?" I could barely see the pups with the alley's darkness, but I could hear they were somewhere between curiosity and excitement

"Yep. This is it" a young boy said as he approached the two pups that were looking at me, trying to figure me out. But that voice... that voice was just too familiar to me

I ran from him once more, but the hunger from not eating the previous day kept me from going very fast, and I could see the two pups chasing after me

This time I could get a good look at them. One of them was a Dalmatian with bright blue eyes and a yellow collar with a fire symbol on it. I would say by his looks that he was quite friendly and innocent

The other pup was a German Shepherd with amber eyes and a black collar with the symbol of a star. His body was covered in brown fur except for his paws and face. I would say by his looks that he was assertive; a leader, and a good one

He was also very athletic. I could see him approaching me just before... well, tackling me to the ground. I let a small yelp and tried to break free and run away once more, but he was very strong, and I hadn't eaten for days

"Chase, stop! You're scaring him!" The boy yelled from near the alley

"I am? Oh, sorry, but you have nothing to be scared of! I'm Chase. Ryder had told that he saw an interesting pup somewhere in Adventure Bay. We have been searching for you all around the city!" He said as he got off me

I thought about running, but I knew they would just find me again. There was no escape this time

"So are you some sort of genius? I bet that would be cool, specially since Ryder is also one" said Marshall as he had caught up with us

"Come on, Marshall, you know I don't like that word. After all, I don't believe—"

"That intelligence can be accurately measured, but you still have a high IQ, huh?" I knew what he was going to say, after all, I agreed with it, but I was surprised to see we had that in common

"Well, yes. And you must too, right? I don't think any pup I know can rebuild drones like that, or plan such a clever scheme to gather food. But that was exactly why I tracked you down. I believe your intelligence and experience with mechanical equipment can be helpful to our team"

"A...team?"

"Yes. I have been trying to create a team of pups to go on missions to help keep Adventure Bay safe. So far I have got a fire and police pups, but I am still missing members, such as a mechanical prodigy like you are, and in exchange, you will be given refuge with us at the lookout" he explained

"So, what do you say?" Asked the Dalmatian whose name appeared to be Marshall

"I...I guess it's better than the streets, huh?" I asked a little nervously

"You bet it is!" Marshall acclaimed

"Alright. And can you tell me... what do you mean by 'lookout'?"

"Don't worry", Ryder said

"I'll show you" 

**Hey, people of FFN! I hope you liked my story so far. This was a short chapter so I will upload the next tomorrow. Also, just a friendly reminder that all chapters made so far are available in wattpad (up to 10 chapters total including 4 which have not yet been uploaded here but will soon). Anyway, I'll see you guys tomorrow when I upload next chapter!**

**-LSMMPGBFECLRMCFD**


	7. The new pup

(Still set in narration of the past)

Two weeks

Amazing what you can accomplish in two weeks

Two weeks after being taken in with Ryder and I had fully adapted to living with him and Chase and Marshall

Chase and Marshall were best friends and always hung with each other, which made it harder to be close to them, but I had no problem with it because I mostly spent time with Ryder

At first I wasn't sure whether I should trust him, but we had so much in common it was almost impossible not to

He showed me his ideas for gadgets the team could use, and I came up with some myself. After that, we started building them and in less than two weeks we had complete sets of gadgets and improved vehicles

Since Ryder knew I had a thing for recycling, we created a recycling truck modified for pups to drive that would also convert into a pup house, and gave Marshall and Chase newly improved versions of their vehicles, which would now also turn into pup houses

We created voice activated gadgets for each pup to use, including a megaphone for Chase to direct traffic (which I soon regretted after he started using it to wake us up), and improved Marshall's water cannon to make it retractable, along with a mechanical claw for myself to use and eventually designed uniforms and created pup packs for everyone to carry all their tools

He showed me a plan to build some sort of room that was meant to help us get into our new suits more easily, and we quickly got to work into designing it

But most importantly, we had worked on tracking pups with special skills to form part of our team

So far, we hadn't got much luck in finding one, or at least until now; Ryder and I spotted a chocolate labrador around my age that was really good at swimming. And I mean _really_ good at swimming

It was as if a water god had reincarnated in the form of a pup who kept swimming at the same spot in the beach with such gentility and graze

We watched him swim for a couple of hours before he finally left the water and layed in the sand to relax, and that's when we decided to approach him

The pup definitely seemed relaxed. He layed in the sand, looking at the ocean and smiled. Somehow this pup was doing better than I did when I lived in the streets. He seemed to have so much experience he got used to living like that, and even got himself to smile. I'm not really sure if I feel happy or sad for him

Careful not to scare him, we slowly walked up to him to talk to him about his skills and possibly joining the team

"Has anyone ever told you you're a very talented swimmer?" Ryder started the conversation while I analyzed this new pup

"A-Awe you talking to me?" The pup looked up to Ryder, trying to figure out what he wanted from him

"Yes. I have been watching you swim for a while, and I have to say you are very skilled at it. Is your owner around?"

This question did not do good to this new pup. I watched as his body tensed up and he seemed to get anxious

I could see before he answered that he was a street dog. He was very thin, so much that I could see his ribs marked in his body; he had definitely not eaten for days. Poor guy, I know what it feels like to be in his position, and I can say with certainty it is not pleasant

Though I don't get why he would focus on going for a swim rather than search for food if he really hadn't eaten for days

"I-I don't have an ownew" he said lowering his head. Ryder seemed to know the answer before he had said it as well, but I assume he asked it to start a conversation and eventually suggest taking him in

"Well, you see, we want to know if you'd like to be part of our team"

"O-Our?" He said as he looked up and to me. It appears he hadn't noticed me at first 'cause he seemed surprised to see me standing next to Ryder

"Yeah, our. I'm Ryder, and this is Rocky. He was a street pup too before he joined us, and there are another two pups back home. We are part of a team that goes around Adventure Bay to help those in need. We're called the, uh... Paw Patrol"

"Paw Patrol? I wasn't aware we had already chosen a name for the team" I said from behind Ryder

"We hadn't, but I just thought of it and I think it may be our official team name; it might even catch up quickly" he told me before facing the new pup, awaiting his response

"So, you guys awe inviting me to be a pawt of youw team?"

"Precisely. That would mean you'd move in with us and, based on your skills, work as our water rescue pup"

"Umm... would you wait hewe one sec?" The lab said as he got up

"Sure" Ryder said smiling

"Hey, can I get your name? Uh-oh" just as Ryder said this, we saw the new pup start running towards the nearby forest. Unfortunately, however, it was clear he wasn't running towards something; he was running _away_ from something, and that would be us. In fact, he didn't even bother to look back

"Yeah... I don't think he's really coming back. He's pretty fast considering he hasn't eaten for days" Ryder said as he watched the pup disappear into the forest

"Aren't we going to follow him?" I asked

"I don't think that'd be a good idea. We should probably give him some time to reflect on our offer" he said as he directed himself to his ATV

"So, is that it? We'll just leave him like that?" I was a worried about the pup. I get what it feels to be in his position, but I don't want for him to miss getting out of street life because he was too scared to be part of a new family. I might have only spent two weeks with Ryder and the others, but I have to say it had changed my life for the better. I can't imagine someone else missing out on such a great opportunity

"Relax, we'll just track him down tomorrow. It's definitely going to be harder in the forest, but I'm sure we'll find him eventually. In the meanwhile, we should head back to the lookout, and maybe we can work on that hovercraft for when he decides to join the team"

"But what if he doesn't?"

"Oh, trust me, I have a feeling he will"

Afterwards, we simply went back to the lookout for the day and went to sleep to get ready to search for the mysterious pup the next day

However, I was not able to sleep. Thinking of the pup kept me awake all night, as usually happens when something's on my mind

I spent hours tossing and turning in my pup house unable to sleep until I finally had enough

Knowing I wasn't going to sleep that night, I sneaked out of the lookout and went to the beach where we met the pup for the first time

It was probably somewhere around midnight when I went out, but I was obviously not going to the beach to swim, not after _that _day, but the repetitive sound of the waves crashing on the bottom of the rocky cliff was quite soothing, like music to my ears

Anyway, as I walked to the beach planning to lay there for a while, I spotted someone else who was staring at the midnight sky, laying in the sand

By the time I saw this figure I was already walking towards the top of the cliff, but I decided to go back to the lookout to avoid disturbing whoever that was

I tried my best to be silent so they wouldn't notice me leaving, but despite my attempts I still managed to be heard, and I saw what appeared to be a pup turn to me surprised

"I'm sorry to bother you, I was just leaving..." I said before turning around and continue to walk back home

"Wait, awen't you the pup fwom eawliew?" The pup questioned. I turned to face him; I could not see him in the dark, as if his fur blended in with the darkness of the night... or as if he was a chocolate labrador...

_Alright, Rocky. This is your chance, your chance to convince him to join the team. You better not screw this up..._

"Yeah... are you going to run away again?" I'm not even sure if I said that as a joke, but I really needed to know

"Oh... I'm sowwy about that. It's just that... I don't know, I have lived by myself in the stweets for a while and suddenly moving in with stwangews is... just a change I'm not suwe I'm weady to take, but I won't wun this time". He turned to me for about a second before going back to looking at the sky

"But don't you want to get out of the streets? Look at you, you are not living a healthy life neither physically nor mentally... I was a street pup once, and I can't tell you for sure that I did not like a second of it. You should join our team"

"But I like this life... I don't have any wesponsibilities, ow anyone to take cawe of; I'm a fwee spiwit. Evewy night, I come hewe and look at the sky and admiwe its beauty, and evewy day aftew seawching fow food, I come hewe to swim". He responded calmly. His bright eyes of a greenish-yellow color reflected the light of the moon that shined upon them, and even standing a few feet from him I could smell the ocean water in his fur

"Huh, I never saw it that way... I guess street life does have some perks, but I still think you should join the team... don't you want to become a part of our family? I can promise you, it's great". I smiled as I slowly come closer and layed next to the pup

"...I'm not suwe. Last time I was a pawt of a family it fell apawt... both my pawents died and my bwother left home, and I was kicked out into the stweets" he said, still staring at the sky

It's amazing how he said that so calmly; I wish I could talk about _that_ day like that... I can't even think about it without almost bursting into tears

"I know what it feels when a family breaks apart, but even though I barely know you, I can tell you deserve to be a part of one, and I can tell you with certainty you will not regret becoming a part of this one"

"You weally think so?" The pup finally took his eyes off the sky and turned to me

"I don't just think so, I know so. Plus, even when you join the team, you will still be able to come to the beach often. After all, you would become our water rescue pup, which means you will be in missions involving water... actually, mind telling me why you seem to like water so much?" I looked at the pup. I could barely see his body due to the darkness of the night, and because of his chocolate colored fur, but it made his greenish yellow eyes stand out

He sighed, "duwing my fiwst day on the stweets, I met some othew stweet pups who bullied me for sevewal weasons..."

"What do you mean? You certainly seem like what others would describe as a "cool pup", I can't think of a reason for someone to bully you"

"Well, thank you, but I have had twouble fitting in in the past, and the same thing happened when I twied to hang out with them. Accowding to them, it was pawtly because I 'talked weiwd', but mostly because I was not aggwessive like them. Those cwazy pups would fight fow food. Instead of distwibuting it like nowmal people, they made a wule of 'whoevew wins the fight wins the food', and in theiw fights, all moves wewe allowed. But I am not like them. Believe it or not, I can be kind and compassionate. Most people see me and think I am a fightew, and while I am one to stand up fow what I believe in, I also think violence isn't the answew, but when I told that to them, they attacked me, saying that I was 'too soft fow the stweets' and they 'wewe doing me a favow'... lucky fow me, they didn't know how to swim, so whenevew they chased me, I would wun to the ocean so they couldn't weach me"

I was astounded by his story. I couldn't believe a pup like him could have such a horrible past. "So, what happened to them?" I asked to the pup with an astonished expression

"Animal contwol caught them. And they would've caught me too but I wan to the beach and swam until they gave up and left, but I guess that's why I like watew... it just makes me feel safe. You know what I mean, wight?"

"Oh, I'm afraid you're talking to the wrong pup; I have aquaphobia"

"Huh?"

"Fear of water"

"Wait, you'we scawed of water? How is that possible? Isn't it, like, 70 pewcent of our bodies?" He said as he gave me a quizzical look

"Close, it's 60, and I'm not telling you why... it's personal"

"Alwight then, I won't pwessure you... anyway, do you know if this Wyder has lots of food?" He asked with his tail wagging

I laughed, "you bet! And about your speech impediment, I think it's rhotacism, the inability or difficulty to pronounce sounds of the letter R. There is a chance you outgrow it in the future, or you might have it for the rest of your life, but if makes you feel any better, I think it's adorable" I said, which made the pup slightly blush

"Well, we better get going" I continued. "... wait, I never got your name"

"It's Zuma"

"Oh, cool. Did you know zuma means peace in Arabic? It's interesting because based on what you've told me it seems to fit your personality"

"Wow. I didn't know that... wait, how did _you _know that?" He asked curiously

"I like to read"

"Yeah, I don't know what kind of books you'd have to wead to leawn that, but based on youw kind of newdy look, you must wead lots of them" he said jokingly

"I'll take that as a compliment" I replied smiling. "Anyway, we should head to the lookout so you can start training tomorrow... oh, wait, I haven't told Ryder that you accepted joining the team, but I guess you can sleep in my pup house tonight"

"Weally? Thanks, um..."

"Rocky"

"Thanks, Wocky!" He gave me a quick hug and afterwards we carefully sneaked back into the lookout. When we got back, I still couldn't sleep but it turned out for whatever reason Zuma couldn't either so we just stayed up all night and talked

It turns out even though we didn't have much in common we still became great friends very quickly. We talked about all sorts of things, such as how street life was for us, and I told him about my experience from the past two weeks I spent with Ryder, Chase and Marshall in the lookout. He told me about his dream of becoming a famous surfer, and I told him about my dream of being a distinguished inventor. The next day, Zuma began training with Ryder, and soon he was able to join us in missions, and he became our water rescue pup. Ryder and I even fixed a hovercraft and modified it so it would become his vehicle and pup house, and gave him a pup pack of his own, though what I would consider to be the best part is that we were the least needed of the group, so I got to stay behind with my new best friend while Chase and Marshall went on missions (and even when they weren't)

Well, those were the good times...

Oh, who am I kidding; it only got better from there! Though I've got to say I was surprised to see a pup like Zuma would have trouble fitting in, but hey, I guess that's one thing we have in common: neither of us finds it easy to fit in, but at least we got each other

Anyway, it's good to remember my past from time to time, but now I better get some sleep considering I couldn't sleep at all last night, so—

I am interrupted by someone knocking outside of my pup house... wait, I think I know where this is going... _please don't let it be morning, please don't let it be morning!_—

"Wocky! Time to get up! We need to get weady to continue youw swimming lessons!" A voice called from outside

_Again?! Seriously?! When will I be able to get some damn sleep?!_

**Hey, everyone. Since we've had a lot of flashbacks and narrations of the past in the story, I realize some of you may have some trouble keeping up on the timeline, so basically:**

**"What is love?" (First chapter), narration of an event a year from the present**

**"Still in need for answers" (Second chapter), occurs from morning till the afternoon, set in the present**

**"The end of a good day" (Third chapter), occurs the same day as "Still in need for answers" all the way to noon**

**"That day" (Fourth chapter), continuation of "The end of a good day", and includes a narration from an even occurring several years ago, though it's not specified exactly when. Said narration occurs while Rocky is trying to sleep**

**"The very first day" (Fifth chapter), the very next day after "That day". Occurs sometime in the morning, then skips through the rest of the day until noon**

**"A Rocky life" (Sixth chapter), narration of Rocky's life before joining the paw patrol, also occurring while Rocky is trying to sleep (poor Rocky, he really needs some sleep XD)**

**"The new pup" (This chapter), also a narration, this time on how Rocky met Zuma, and also occurring while Rocky is trying to sleep (during that same night as "A Rocky life")**

**"How I came to love a particular mix-breed" (Next chapter) haven't posted it yet but it will be set in the present in Zuma's perspective, including a narration or flashback of an earlier event. Will occur from the morning after "A Rocky life" and "The new pup"**

**So, I hope I cleared any doubts on the timeline (if there were even any to start... I think I worry too much haha). Anyway, hope you liked this chapter! I've already started writing next one so it'll probably be out in a week or two. Until then!**

**-LSMMPGBFECLRMCFD**


	8. How I came to love a particular mix

(Zuma's POV)

I woke up to my alarm, which was set precisely five minutes before Chase's, and got up. I quickly did my morning routine before getting out of my pup house and headed to Rocky's

I knock on his door for a bit to wake him up

"Wocky! Time to get up! We need to get weady to continue youw swimming lessons!" I yell as I sit in front of his pup house and wait for him to come out

I could hear Rocky groan from inside, but he still wouldn't come out

"Come on, Wocky! You know what happens if you don't!" I yell as I look to Chase's pup house; his alarm should ring in just a minute

That sure worked. Soon after, I hear Rocky scramble to come out of his pup house. The doors opened to reveal the mix-breed that I've come to love over the years, but something seemed off; he was very tired

He looked at me and smiled, trying to seem energetic, but I know he was just trying to hide the fact that he was somnolent

"Did you get any sleep last night?" I asked with his same attitude, but at least _I_ don't need to fake it

"Uh... yeah, sure" he said giving me that warm smile again

I get that he wouldn't want me to worry for him; it's actually one of the things I love about him, but to lie to me?

"Don't do that" I responded with a frown

"Do what?"

"Don't lie to me again just because you don't want me to wowwy fow you. You think I didn't notice how lethawgic you wewe yestewday? Well I did; I just decided to let it slide, but now you can bawely keep youw eyes open!"

"..." He didn't respond, instead he was standing there and drooling. Poor guy, I've always known he's a light sleeper, but at least he's usually able to get _some _sleep

"Wocky?" I said softly and waited for a second but he still wouldn't answer

"WOCKY?!" This time I practically yelled to his perked up ear. It's kind of adorable how one of his ears is floppy and the other one's perked up...

_Wait, I'm still supposed to be mad at him for lying; I can't get distracted by his adorable ears, or his cute shaded eye, or his god-blessed tail... damn it, I can't even focus now?! I thought I had my crush on him under control?! If I keep being so obvious he's gonna find out..._

"ALRIGHT I'M AWAKE!" Rocky yelled, forcing his eyes open and pulling me out of my thoughts. I didn't mean to startle him but at least I've finally got his full attention

He rubbed his eyes and sighed. "... I'm sorry, but I couldn't sleep last night, or the night before... was it that obvious?"

"Don't be sowwy, but yep, it was noticeable. At fiwst l let it slide, but now you seem extwemely tiwed. You need to get some west befowe we continue, so go back to youw pup house and get the sleep you vewy much need. I'll ask Chase not to wake you up today unless you have a mission and you can have bweakfast latew; it's vewy eawly in the mowning anyway". I turn around to talk to Chase who just got up and is preparing to wake everyone else up for breakfast

"Wait!", Rocky called. "Look, Zuma, I know that you worry for me but I'm fine. I just need to eat something and I'll be ready to continue, or should I say start, the swimming lessons. It's not like it's something I'm really looking foward to but the sooner we start the sooner we get this over with"

I couldn't help but to frown once again at hearing this. "Awe you weally not looking forwawd to this? This could be an oppowtunity fow us to have something in common that we can do togethew! Wouldn't that be fun?!" I barked happily as my tail bagan to wag in exitement. Just the thought of doing my favorite thing in the world with my favorite person in the world makes me happy, but I'll be even happier if we actually do it

"Well, I guess that's one good thing from this whole 'learning how to swim' thing, but I still find it unnecessary. I mean, what are the odds of us falling from another elevator into the ocean?"

"Hey, you nevew know" I responded jokingly. "Anyway, you should covew youw eaws"

"Huh?-"

"ALRIGHT EVERYONE, IT'S TIME TO GET UP!" Rocky, who was so drowsy he forgot all about Chase and his megaphone, was now wincing from Chase's already loud voice being amplified to form ear-shattering sounds that could be heard all across Adventure Bay

"EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!" Rocky yelled in complaint

"What? I'm just doing my job!" Chase said in his defense

I giggled "At least you'we wide awake now"

Though still seemingly tired, Rocky laughed at my comment as we went into the lookout, with the rest of the recently woken up pups following behind us

As we enter the lookout, we are greeted as usual by an energetic Ryder. "Morning, pups. You ready for breakfast?"

"Sure am" replied Rubble, still half asleep

"You always are, Rubble" said skye, making everyone laugh

As soon as Ryder fills our plates, I watch as everyone begins to devour their food as if they hadn't eaten for days... well, except for Rocky

"What's the mattew? You need to eat something if you'we weally gonna go swimming... unless you changed youw mind, in which case you can go back to youw pup house while I explain it to Wyder, and I can wake you up latew-"

"I told you, Zuma, I'm fine. You don't need to keep insisting for me to go back to sleep, because that's not gonna happen. I'm just... not really hungry right now" he said pushing his plate aside

"Hmm... ok, but you still need to eat something, so eithew you eat at least half youw plate ow go back to sleep" I demanded, slowly pushing Rocky's plate back in front of him. The rest of the pups didn't know what was going on but simply continued eating and assumed everything was alright

Rocky grunted. "Fine, I'll eat", he said as he began to slowly eat his food while he muttered something under his breath, probably about me. Though frankly, didn't care if he complained; I was still not going to change my mind

"Alwight, Wocky, we'we hewe" I say, parking my hovercraft in a spot near the beach, "This is the time you actually learn how to swim— Wocky?" I glance at Rocky as I pull up, only to see him now fully asleep, and drooling all over the seat

I giggle at seeing how cute he is when he's asleep. Now that that stubborn pup is finally down, I can wait for a while to let him rest. But now I can't help but wonder, why he wasn't able to sleep these past couple of days? Was he having nightmares about what he calls _that _day? But then, why wouldn't he talk to me? I still remember when I had nightmares and Rocky gladly helped me feel safe...

_Two weeks after Zuma moved in with Ryder_

"_Tomowwow is the day you will officially join the team. You can do this, Zuma_" I told myself before going to bed. So far, I have only been observing during missions and training with Ryder, but tomorrow I'm officially becoming a member of the team, which means I'll go on missions now, and that makes me nervous. Yesterday, my new best friend Rocky, who appears to be the team's smarty pants, gave me kind of a course on how the hovercraft is operated, how to use my collar for calls and stuff, how my new pup pack works and how to use it, and what to do on missions. Quite honestly, though, I didn't get most of that

I know he means good, in fact, Rocky has always been so nice to me since I was invited to join the team, but it's like he doesn't realize he's practically speaking in a whole new language! He kept talking about the engineering of the hovercraft that was modified for pups to drive and bla bla bla. He went on for about an hour with the supposedly brief course, and I also think he took the "course" thing literally. It was supposed to be a casual thing; he would just explain it to me so I would get an idea on how to use the gadgets and stuff, but he chose instead to do an actual presentation about it. He was reading off flashcards! Who writes flashcards for a "casual" showing around?! By the way he was speaking you could practically call it a seminar!

I only paid attention for about ten minutes before drifting off into my thoughts, but I felt bad about it. He looked so happy during the course! His tail was wagging like crazy as he proudly explained how he and Ryder built the hovercraft just for me, and I could tell from his voice he was fighting the need to begin barking in exitement. And he was so sweet to do this for me... I can't imagine how much thought and effort he put into making that presentation...

And there I was, typical Zuma, ignoring his best friend who was only trying to help him. But what if I mess up in my first mission? I can't even remember how Rocky said the hovercraft was operated... what if I fail? Everyone is counting on me to become a part of the team, especially Rocky, but what if I can't? Will Ryder kick me out of the lookout? Will I not be able to be with Rocky anymore? No... I can't let that happen... he's my friend... my only friend. And he's been so supportive on me joining the team, but... what if I fail him? What if I fail my best friend who was counting on me...

I slowly drift into sleep, but am almost immediately woken up by Ryder

"Come on out, Zuma! It's time for your test!" He yelled from outside my recently given pup house

I step out to see Ryder, Chase, Marshall, and Rocky, but something isn't right. It seemed kind of early, so looked at the time

"What the hell, guys, it's fouw am! Why is the test happening so eawly? I haven't even had bweakfast today!" I said anxiously. How can I take the test while still drowsy and with an empty stomach?!

"A good member knows to expect a mission at anytime!" Ryder exclaimed. "Now, this is a simulation, but you better take it seriously because if you don't pass, you won't make the team, but also be confident; I don't want to put pressure on you". _Wow, great way to not put pressure on me_, I said sarcastically to myself

"Well, time for a mission! Quickly, let's go inside for the details!" As Ryder said this, everyone else started running inside. _I guess I gotta follow them_, I thought running after them

However, probably because of the nerves of the moment, or having an empty stomach, or for being drowsy, but for whatever reason I got confused and instead of going to the elevator... I headed to the kitchen

"What are you doing, Zuma?! You need to get to the elevator, you idiot!" Chase yelled in frustration

"I-I'm sorry, I'm coming". _What's wrong with you, Zuma? You need to get this right. Do it for Rocky_. I finally get into the elevator as we all went up to the top floor

Once we got to the top, I see the rest of the pups take a step forward into platforms of different colors. Not knowing what was going on, I reach the closest platform and stand there, and in the blink of an eye, a shining light illuminates the room for half a second before the elevator opens to reveal everyone in their uniforms

"Hey, that was my spot!" I hear Marshall say. I look down, only to see me wearing a red firefighter suit while Marshall is wearing an orange suit equipped for swimming

"Come on, Zuma, we went over this. You can do it" I hear Rocky say from behind me, followed by a sigh from Ryder, while everyone else looks at me with disgust

"Oh, I'm sorry... should we change?"

"Obviously!" Marshall said while unzipping his- or should I say my- uniform. "Now that you messed up, we'll have to change it manually", he complained

"And we're now wasting valuable time because of your stupid mistake!" Chase exclaimed. I frown and sigh as I take off Marshall's uniform. _Now I really messed up_

After changing to the correct uniform, Ryder continued the simulation showing an animation on screen, but as he spoke I began to drift off and slowly close my eyes from being so tired. "Why did Wyder have to wake us up soooooo eawly?" I muttered in complaint as I feel my eyes grow heavy and eventually shut down

Suddenly, I am woken up by Ryder saying "Paw Patrol is on a roll!"

_Oh, great, now I even messed up in hearing about the mission, all I heard was the word beach. Guess that won't be of much help_

I follow through as Rocky, Chase and Marshall slide down into their own vehicles. This time, I decided to wait until everyone had left to their own vehicles to look for mine, that way I wouldn't mess up again. I finally went to the slide which fortunately took me to my hovercraft. _Wait... I don't remember how to drive this thing_

I hear the engine start but I can't help but to feel anxious. I've already messed up three times before we even left for the mission

And now, as expected, I mess up again. Not knowing how to drive, I press the accelerator button with all my strength and my hovercraft is shot foward at great speed... but I don't know how to stop it

"Can anyone tell me how to dwive this thing?!" I scream frantically to the others as my hovercraft continues to drive incredibly fast, but it's to no use; I've already passed them by far

"What are you doing, Zuma?! You're supposed to know this!" I hear a familiar voice yell in the distance. But it wasn't a voice full of anger or annoyance. It was more like... disappointment

_Wocky_...

I see the others follow behind me for a little while, signaling for me to do something to stop the hovercraft, but I couldn't understand it, so I just froze in panic hoping I wouldn't run anybody over and try as best I can direct myself to the beach which is close by

"Zuma! You need to hit the breaks; you're driving towards the cliff!" I hear Ryder shout from behind me

I begin to hysterically push all the buttons I see in search for the breaks as I look in front of me to see the cliff signifying my doom only a few meters away, and after a couple of seconds of pushing buttons, I finally find the right one, making my hovercraft violently stop at mere centimeters from the cliff (A.N: I don't wanna confuse you but I use the metric system), but since the vehicle was already moving rapidly, the impulse pushed the whole thing along with me down the cliff to my inevitable death...

I suddenly wake up screaming, making me fall off my bed. I pant heavily as I use my paw to remove the sweat from my face. _It was all just a dream_

_But... what if I do fail my actual test? Should I talk to someone?_

I hesitate as I look to the recycling pup's pup house. _Maybe I should talk to Rocky... no; it's too late to talk to him anyway. He's probably asleep... oh, what the hell, I'll do it_

Quietly leaving my pup house, I approach Rocky's and knock on his door

Seconds after, I watch as the doors open to reveal my best friend smiling at me

"What's up, can't sleep?" He said with that sweet, warm smile. Surprising how he can do that despite of it being around midnight

I froze and blushed in embarrassment. I'm almost acting like a little puppy going to his friend because he had nightmares... "I had a b-bad dweam... and I was w-wondewing if I c-could..." I sigh, realizing I didn't even know what my plan was. "You know what, nevewmind. I really shouldn't have woken you up this late for something this twivial..." I said turning around to go back to my pup house

"Wait", I hear him whisper. "It's fine. I wasn't even asleep; it normally takes me a while, and I'm a light sleeper, so if I don't feel sleepy I know that there's just no point in trying. Anyway... nightmares, you say? Yeah, I remember having those when I first joined the team. Come one in, we'll talk about it..."

"A-Alwight", I respond as I enter his pup house. "This looks exactly how I wemembewed it to be... don't you evew clean up?"

Rocky's pup house was a mess. Papers thrown all over the place, metals all over the floor, and a bunch of books on his bed. I have to say I really thought Rocky'd be one of those super organized people who had everything in its place, but I learned since the day I met him and stayed with him that that was not the case

"Oh, that... I'm sorry, I just have all these projects I'm currently working on and those I want to start, I just don't have the time to organize everything... anyway, let me just make some space for us to sit while you tell me what happened in that dream of yours" he said as he started picking up the books on his bed and throwing them to a corner in his pup house

"I was just doing some light reading", he said, moving the last book to the corner. I take a peak to what he was reading._ "A brief history of time". That's what he calls "light reading"?_

"Here, take a seat", he said as he sat on his bed and patted a spot next to him, signaling for me to sit. "Tell me about your nightmare"

I take a sit next to him and take a deep breath before speaking. "I had a dweam whewe Wyder woke me up eawly in the mowning to take the test to join the team..."

"And?" Rocky questioned

"I messed evewything up duwing the simulation. I wan to the kitchen instead of the elevatow, I stepped on Mawshall's platfowm instead of mine and fowced us to switch unifowms manually, fell asleep duwing the mission bwiefing, and then... dwove my own vehicle down the cliff... now I'm scawed I'll do that duwing the actual test..."

"Look, I get that you're worried about the test; I did too, but you'll do fine! Just remember what I taught you during the introductory course" he said as he put his paw on my shoulder and stared with his sweet, bright amber eyes at mine

"But, Wocky, the twuth is... I didn't pay attention duwing the couwse..." I say looking away and pushing his paw off my shoulder

"Oh... was I that boring?" I give him a shy nod while still not bearing to make eye contact. "Oh well, I'm sorry. I've been told sometimes I can be a little too much, but I just wanted to make sure you knew everything you needed to know before you joined the team. Anyway, the good news is that you do actually remember all those things"

"Huh?"

"You see, our concious minds are able to retain and process only a limited amount of information for a certain amount of time. However, our unconscious minds have almost unlimited space for storing information, and sometimes our unconscious minds record information even while we're not focused on the subject, or 'drifting off' "

"Wait, you'we saying I leawned these things while not leawning it?" I asked lifting my head, my eyes once again meeting Rocky's

"Well yes. How else do you suppose you could have that dream? If you or someone in your dream knew you were doing things wrong or tried to correct you, it's because you knew the information, but your fear of being unprepared was reflected by your subconscious into the dream", he explained. I was having a little trouble following but as Rocky noticed he continued, "in other words, you do know, meaning you're ready for tomorrow... but that's not what's bothering you, is it? This is about more than whether you join the team or not", he said, making me look away once more

Jeez, it's like he can see right through me. "I'm scawed, Wocky", I said, more as a whisper, but he was still able to hear it

"Scared of what?"

"Of being alone again... I know Wyder; he's a good pewson, but if I fail, he won't let me live in the lookout just because he feels pity fow me. And even if he did, I could nevew enjoy living like that knowing I am not wanted hewe, which means if I fail... I'll probably nevew get to see you again, and I'll be back the way I was..." my lips trembled as I said the last word "...lonely..."

Rocky looked at me in shock, a tear escaping the corner of his eye. Nevertheless, he quickly brought me into a hug, allowing me to empty the tears that were forming on my eyes on the side of his neck as he held me

"You're not alone... I'll always be here with you, no matter what" he would softly whisper to me

After a few more minutes of me crying and Rocky whispering encouraging and reassuring words, I pulled out of the hug to speak. "Th-thanks" I said wiping off the few tears that remained on my cheeks

"Anything for you. You feeling better now?"

"Bettew... I'm sowwy I came to bothew you this late at night though"

"Hey, you'd do the same thing for me. We're friends, after all"

"Well, I bettew get going now" I said getting off Rocky's bed and heading for the door. But something was still bugging me...

"Hey, Zuma, you... wanna stay here for the night? I know that you've got your own pup house now so you don't need to sleep here anymore, but just so you can wake up and later take your test knowing that you're not alone"

It was at moments like these that I wondered if Rocky had the power to read minds, but of course I gladly accepted

I smiled. Just like my first couple of days since I got here. "Nowmal awwangement?" I asked as I hopped back on his bed

"Sure. Your blanket should be in... uh oh..." he looked at me with a nervous smile

"What?"

"I may have burnt it"

"What? How?"

"Ryder and I were working on a helicopter for a new member to use for searches, rescues, et cetera, but we had a little... incident. The prototype lit on fire and we had to put it out however we could, and since Marshall wasn't available, we couldn't use his water cannon, so we used the blanket... at least you'll be happy to know it worked, only the blanket didn't survive... I'm sorry, I didn't know we would need to use it in the future since you moved out, but you can use mine"

"No need, you can keep it. It's not that cold anyway" I said, laying down on one side of the bed as Rocky layed on the other

"Good night" he said softly

"You too"

Oh, how wrong was I about the cold. Somehow, Rocky's pup house was much colder than mine, and in just a few minutes after going to bed, I was already shivering, though trying to disimulate so I wouldn't alert Rocky, but after a while he still noticed

"It's a pretty large blanket, you know? We can share it" he said, turining to face my shaking body

"Y-Yes, please". I responded as he lifted his blanket and moved closer to me and placed it over our bodies, then turned to his side facing away from me, the way we'd done before, only this time we were much closer, my fur brushing with his

Without thinking, I immediately snuggled with Rocky's back, and slowly spooned him. As soon as I realized what I had done, I blushed deeply and regretted doing so. I tried to move, but while my mind wanted nothing but to push him away, my body had different plans, so I gave up and stayed in that position, only hoping he wouldn't notice

We slept like that through the whole night, and he didn't say anything about it when we woke up. Instead, everything seemed normal, but something was definitely different. I was feeling weird inside. I knew a spoon position was typical for couples, but we're not together! Still, I can't say I didn't enjoy the warmth he gave me, or his sweet sent filling my nose when I snuggled him, I even started to wonder what it would be like to kiss him...

_Wait, I'm not gay! But Rocky's just so nice, and smart, and I have to admit also kinda cute..._

_Back to the present_

I sigh as I look to Rocky, who's still knocked out in the passenger seat. I listen to his steady breathing, his belly expanding with every inhalation. _He looks so peaceful like that..._

Needless to say I passed the test, though looking back, I guess the time of my nightmates was also the first time I felt something for Rocky. Though I didn't accept it at first, eventually I realized I was hopelessly in love with the mix, and there was nothing I could do about it. Unfortunately, he never seemed to notice

I take another look at my crush, sleeping right next to me but has absolutely no idea about my absolute love for him

"Oh, Wocky, you clueless pup... when will you see..."

**Hello, people of FFN! I hope you're liking the story so far. I should remind you the most up to date version of this story is in wattpad under the same name. If you check it out be sure to give me a follow to stay up to date on any announcements and newer chapters! (My username is the same). Meanwhile, next chapter will be posted near the end of January. See you then!**

**—LSMMPGBFECLRMCFD**


	9. Unknown Emotion

(Still Zuma's POV)

Three hours...  
Three hours of boredom, just sitting in my hovercraft, glancing to Rocky from time to time, who is still in deep sleep

I took another glance at the mix, who is completely knocked out in the seat, yet still manages to look adorable.  
After a minute I realized my "glance" had turned into staring. I'd turn away, but...

_He's just so damn cute..._

I hate to wake him up when he was finally getting some rest, and I could finally stare at him without it being creepy or awkward, but we have to start the swimming lessons...  
"Dude, wake up" I said, slowly shaking the mix that was sleeping soundly right next to me

Rocky's POV

I open my eyes to see my best friend shaking me to wake me up  
"Oh, we're here?" I said with a yawn and rubbed my eyes before stepping out of the hovercraft

"Actually, we've been hewe for a while, just wanted you to get some west befowe we stawted", the lab explained as he too stepped out of his hovercraft and stared at the ocean

"Seriously, Zuma? I understand that as my friend you have the tendency to worry for my health, but you must acknowledge the valuable time which is being wasted because of your decision to wait for me to get what you consider to be sufficient sleep. I told you, I may have been a little somnolent but that does not guarantee I would not able to function for an uncomplicated task such as swimming". Zuma turned to face me and was about to argue something when he looked to me surprised and covered his muzzle with his paw as if trying to repress laughter

Seconds later, he bursted out laughing so hard he fell to the cold sand while still laughing uncontrollably  
After almost a whole minute of laughter the lab finally managed to calm down and I spoke up

"What's so funny?" I asked, my tone making it clear that I was not annoyed, but genuinely confused

"I-I'm sowwy, dude. You just speak all smawt like that but it's kinda hawd to take you sewiously when youw haiw is all cwazy like that..."

Zume quickly found a piece of glass in the sand and handed it to me. As I looked at my reflection on the glass I realized the fur on my head and right side was indeed crazy, especially on my head; it looked like I had finally turned into his favorite scientist, from the genius to the hairstyle. It was as if all my hair decided to go on different directions, leaving me looking like a mess

I frowned. "It was probably because of that sleeping position I was in. Urgh, I had just brushed it this morning!" I gently move my paw through my fur, trying to return it to its original state, but it's to no use; it won't go back down now

I was focused on fixing my fur on my right side, oblivious of my surroundings, when I suddenly felt something wet touch my head  
I fliched and turned to see Zuma, who is still licking my head

_Wait... what?_

"W-What are you doing?"

The lab deadpanned "What? I'm gwooming you. You know, to help fix youw haiw" He replied continuing to lick through my fur

"Can't I just wash it off swimming-" I paused mid sentence and before I could continue Zuma interrupted

"Oh, well if you think you'we weady fow a full dive and swim aftew a day of getting your paws wet, then go wight ahead," he said pointing to the ocean with a daring grin

"F-Fine. You're right, I'm not there yet, so just continue"

"Nuh-uh. You gotta ask fow it, Wocky" he continued in a condescending voice

"Wha-" I sighed, "fine. Zuma, would you please groom me?"

Zuma grinned. "Hmmm... I don't know, dude. I must acknowledge the valuable time that would be wasted by helping you with such a twivial thing..."

_I know what he's doing. He's playing with me. I know Zuma likes to tease me, but two can play that game..._

"Oh, really? I just thought as a friend you would be happy to help me, but... I guess I was wrong to think that..." I looked down and whimpered lightly. I knew it worked because I could see Zuma's expression changing and his cocky smile slowly faded

"Don't do that with me, that's unfaiw!" The lab said with a playful shove. "Anyway, I'll help you out," and with that he did. Few minutes later and we were good to go

"Thewe we go, handsome as usual," the lab said jokingly, but I couldn't help but blush at the comment

"Th-Thanks. A-Anyway... let's get this over with," I smirked and glance to the lab. "Race you there!", I shouted as I ran with all my strength to the edge of the beach and the ocean

"Hey, not faiw!" Zuma said running after me, though probably going to win...

What came afterwards was a series of exercises and trainings that all involved the basics of swimming, and while I am still not at a Zuma level of swimming (which I will probably never reach; he's a fricking water god), nor can I completely submerge underwater, nor be completely comfortable with water, but I am happy with the little progress I made

However, after a while we got called by Ryder for a mission as I was still poorly attempting to swim around, yet I honestly looked like a drowning pupy swimming poorly while trying to find his way back, but I was enjoying the moment

"You heawd it, Wocky. Wyder needs us." The lab stood on the line marked by wet sand where the ocean's tides and the rest of the sand met, as he could feel it through his paws while he 'coached me'

"Aww, come on! Just a little more, I'm getting a hang of this," I replied like an infant not wanting to leave the playground

"Well looky hewe, looks like someone's enjoying himself. Wemembew, chin up and coowdinate youw fwont and back paws as you swim. But now we gotta go, dude"

I sighed, "fine." I rose to the shore and lightly shaked body to remove all the extra water on my fur, which simply ended in me falling backwards to the wet sand, just in time to be hit by the tides. I heard the giggling of my best friend which made me laugh too, and looked up to see the chocolate lab stretching out his paw in my direction, inviting me to take hold of it. The sun's golden gaze reflected upon his face. I could see with clarity every single detail, from his relaxed and warm smile to his beautiful hazel eyes, which glowed bright and golden at the moment. It was like the whole world stopped for a second, and all I could focus on was my best friend. A split second that was lasting an eternity, but to be honest I didn't want to end such a blissful moment

"Umm... dude? Awe you just gonna leave me hanging?" I was brought back to see Zuma still holding his hand in front of me, reminding me a split second _does_ last only a split second, and I'd really been staring and zoomed out for several seconds before reacting. I shook my head to ensure I was back to reality and grabbed his paw before he pulled me back to my feet. But I had a feeling I'd never felt before. I glanced at his golden eyes and tried to make a casual smile as a form of expressing my gratitude, but based on Zuma's reaction I could tell I was smiling like a fool, and immediately covered my face with my paws as I felt blood rush through my cheeks

With my face burried in my paws, I heard a giggle coming from the lab. "Dude, awe you okay?" He removed my paws from my face and looked directly at my eyes, but to hide being so flustered I just cleared my throat and quickly moved to my vehicle while muttering a "yup. Everything's fine"

The mission was simple: there was a rockslide on a bridge which blocked the way of the train and me and Rubble had to clear it out. There rest of the pups weren't needed so they stayed in the Lookout ready in case they were called while we handled the situation

Yet throughout the mission I kept thinking about what had happened. It was really embarrassing when I realized I was being so weird, but before that... before that it was perfect. I can't describe what I felt, but I wanted to find out. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but I don't know if that should be alarming. I decided I would have to discuss this with someone else who might have insight on such emotions to figure it out, but who would it be? It had to be someone I trusted. Zuma would generally be my go-to, but since this appears to involve him, I went to my second most trusted person: Ryder

He is, after all, by far smarter than me. He might have an explanation or solution to whatever hapened earlier. "Great job, pups. Another successful mission, now let's head back to the Lookout," he said as everyone made their way back to their vehicles, but I stopped him before he reched his

"Ryder, can wel talk real quick?" Ryder stopped and turned to me

"Sure, what is it?"

"Well, I've just been feeling kinda weird lately, mostly earlier..." And then I proceeded to tell him everything, including things like the time we were building the jetski, what happened just earlier today, my best description of the feeling I got, and the list of symptoms that came along and in order of when I felt them. As I continued to tell him about the situation while the pups went ahead back to the Lookout, Ryder's grin grew wider and wider before I concluded and he spoke up

"So, all of this happens when you're with Zuma?"

"That is what I said, yes. Why?"

Ryder's grin was as big as it could get and it confused me. "It's just that I think someone has a crush on Zuma"

I blushed deeply thinking about the whole 'crush' thing. "Y-You mean a-as in... romantic i-interest?"

The boy nodded. "Th-This can't be right. W-Why would I have a c-crush on my best friend?" Before Ryder could answer, I anxiously stormed away to my vehicle and rushed to the Lookout. Ryder seemed surprised but he didn't seem so worried about it, knowing I could handle it

As soon as I got back I saw all the pups playing soccer together, and Zuma stopped playing and ran happily to me as soon as he saw me return. "Dude, you'we back! Took you long enough, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to be in my team for soccew!" He claimed happily, but I had too much in my mind to play, especially if it involved him, so I quickly thought of an excuse not to

"Oh, sorry, but I was going to work on some-uh- projects today, so I can't"

"Oh, I see... well maybe later we can do something with just the two of us, huh? Come on, we've been vewy busy with missions and the lessons that we haven't had much time to hang out. So what do you say?"

"Umm, the thing is I planned to work on it all day, so I wouldn't be so sure... b-but maybe tomorrow?"

The lab's smile faded slowly. "Oh, alwight then, maybe tomowwow," he replied with a fake smile to replace it

"See you later then," and with that I made my way to my pup house and locked myself inside to think

I spent the entire afternoon inside, even skipped a meal saying I felt sick, but in reality I just didn't want to see Zuma. I didn't know what to do. Could I possibly like him as more than friends? That can't be. And I'm not talking about the whole 'he's a dude' bullsh*t. I didn't know those relationships existed but Ryder assured me they were normal, and I honestly see no reason not to like a dude. If I really, really liked him, that wouldn't matter. But that's not what worried me. All I know about love is that father loved, mother loved, and Danny loved, and I loved all of them, yet mother is dead, father changed, and I don't know what happened to Danny after _that _day, but with father's behavior it was probably not good. All the people I loved are gone, and that even affected father, making him less caring and more mean and even violent. Even someone with half a brain could tell by that information that love can only mean bad, however or whoever it comes from

I sighed in frustration, puzzled by my situation. I went outside, hoping Zuma wasn't there, and realized it was actually much later than I thought. It was dark and everyone had gone to bed. _Wow, I did spend a lot of time inside... well, might as well make use of this_

I walked out the Lookout and headed to beach to think. Despite not liking water that much I enjoyed going there to think, and it was also so calm, it helps me relax

Then just as I walked through the sand I saw a figure laying down near me, which I identified to be Zuma. I panicked and tried to leave quietly but was still heard. I turned around to see the lab surprised, but then relaxed as he saw it was only me

"Oh, hey, dude, come and sit. You alwight?" He questioned from the short distance between us

"I'm good, but what are you doing here?" I honestly wanted to leave, but I couldn't do that to him, so I layed down next to him and we stared at the stars

"Just came hewe to chill and unwind, like I do sometimes"

_Right... I should've expected that. It reminds me of the first time we met though. He was so sweet and kind to me... wait, no, don't think about that. And he wasn't nice to you in particular, he's nice to everyone..._

My thoughts were cut off by Zuma. "Thewe awen't many staws out hewe tonight. Makes it easiew to look for sapphiwes-"

"Actually, there are still tons of stars, only that they are not currently visible. It could be because of the gases and whatnot, but it could also be from another possibility. You see, the galaxy is like a disc full of stars, but we are near the edge, which means when we are looking towards the center of the galaxy, we see the most stars, since we're looking towards the great mass of them. However, when we look away from the center, we see less stars. And you would think it shouldn't be that way because there are still stars everywhere around us and in every direction, but it is because of the Big Bang that we cannot see the rest of the stars. Since the Big Bang occurred, all planets and stars have been moving away from the center, and are still in movement. The farther they are from the center, the faster they move. Some stars move nearly to the speed of light, which is why their light cannot reach us, and it leaves us with what appears to be "less stars". And when the universe has finished exploding all the stars will slow down, like a ball that has been thrown into the air, and they will come to a halt and they will all begin to fall towards the centre of the universe again. And then there will be nothing to stop us seeing all the stars in the world because they will all be moving towards us, gradually faster and faster, and we will know that the world is going to end soon because when we look up into the sky at night there will be no darkness, just the blazing light of billions and billions of stars, all falling. Of course we will probably be extinct by then, and even if there were some survivors, they would still not be able to see the sky full of stars because all the light would be blinding and the heat would kill every single remaining organism here, even if they lived in tunnels. Quite interesting if you come to think about it"

The lab turned and stared in amusement. "... wow... you weally now how to wuin any moment with youw facts and science, don't you?" He said joking, but I couldn't help but to feel bad for interrupting the moment

"Oh... I-I'm sorry... I didn't meant to..."

"No, no, it's fine. It's actually one of the things I like about you"

I felt a smile creep up on my face at hearing this. "Th-Thanks, but what were you gonna say about sapphires?"

"Well, when I was young, I would look at the sky and seawch for sapphiwes among the staws. You know, the bwightest and most blue looking ones. It was fun"

"But that doesn't make any sense. Stars are all stars, never sapphires, and their glow isn't actually blue. Ever" I sad perplexed

"But it's not always about what makes sense ow not. It was simply something that I liked to do, and it helped me see the beauty in the staws even cleawew seeing them as sapphiwes"

"Oh... come to think of it, I guess you're right..."

"See? It's not hawd to enjoy life if you just accept not evewything has to be so... logical. Just stawe at the stars and enjoy the moment"

"Yeah... just enjoy the moment..."

_Just enjoy the moment..._

**Hello, awesome people of FFN! I apologize for the delay to posting this chapter, but I'll be going back to posting monthly after this. We're approaching the latest chapters that have been posted in my wattpad account, but luckily with my state being under lockdown for coronavirus concerns I'll have plenty of time to write some more by the time you guys catch up. As always, I'll remind you that you can check out my wattpad (with my same username) for an up to date version of this story, including another 2 chapters that have been posted there. This is just because I was halfway through the story when I joined FFN, and I didn't want to throw all the chapters in right away so I'm posting monthly. You'll also find some extra uploads I have including drawings I've made, late night thoughts and ideas, and some more personal stuff if you wanna check it out. Along with stating up to date about story announcements in my message board there. So just a little incentive for more people to join me on wattpad since it has more opportunity to connect with the readers and keep 'em up to date, so whether here or on wattpad, I'd love to hear what you guys think of the story so far! Thanks for the patience as well, until next time!**

**—LSMMPGBFECLRMCFD**


	10. Fool's gambit

Zuma's POV

For hours in the night, Rocky and I were silently watching the stars. I didn't know what I would say, or if I should say anything at all, but I had to talk eventually, it scared me that Rocky had locked himself in his pup house for so long and he only does that when he has serious problems because he only knows to hide from his issues rather than confront them.

But what am I supposed to say? I can't just throw him the question. What if he gets all defensive and closes out again? Oh, sh*t... this is going to be harder than I thought

You see, everyone sees me as 'the chill pup'. And it is true based on how I choose to behave, but just because I don't show the worry doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I worry about a lot: what if I messed up on a mission, or said the wrong thing in a convo, or sound stupid when talking to Mr. Genius next to me. But I don't really let it show. Sometimes I feel like if I did show it then people wouldn't like me anymore. Because if I'm not 'the chill pup', then who am I?

But deep down, I know Rocky doesn't care if I don't sound smart like him. He'd probably say something like "there is no such thing as sounding smart, there is simply what is known to be the particular use of words and vocabulary common among people considered 'smart' based upon how society quantifies such word. But in reality intelligence has not a single specific way of being expressed. In fact, not even intelligence itself has a single specific way of being. By that I can guarantee you any words you utilize can be 'smart words'. And you already talk smart in your own smart way"

Come to think of it that does sound very much like something he'd say. How did I know this? Oh, wait, he told me that once... anyway, I'm getting off topic. I need to think of something to say. I was thinking maybe something funny to get him to laugh and then casually bring up what happened today and asking him of whatever reason made him lock himself in his pup house and everything else. And when I'd finally thought of the perfect thing to say, I spoke up

"Hey, Wocky?"

"Yeah?" The mix responded while still admiring the stars

"Well-" and just my luck, I immediately forgot what I was gonna say, so I tried to play it cool and skip to asking the question

"I was just wondewing, you know, what happened today. You had me worried..."

I could see Rocky tense up at this. I didn't want it to go like this but there's no going back at this point

He stayed silent for a couple of seconds and spoke slowly and hesitantly. "I... something happened, yes, but... I don't think it's really worth discussing. I-I am better now... you have nothing to worry about."

The pup was lying through his teeth and I could feel it. I could feel myself frown at the thought of my dearest... friend to not want to tell me of something serious. Then again, he's Rocky. He may truly be better and not want to talk about it, but I wasn't so sure, so I let him... or not

"Lies. What's the mattew?" I said looking straight at him

He looked back with a face so astonished, which then turned into a deadpan and spoke with considerable annoyance in his voice. "I said, I'm fine." His emphasis of the word fine made it clear he didn't want me to push it any further, yet I did. Maybe not such a smart decision...

"But you don't seem fine-"

"I said I'm fine! Now won't you just shut up about it?!" He said, this time it was so obvious anyone with half a brain would know to back off. I wonder where the other half of my brain went at that moment...

"But you wewe in your pup house all da-"

"Will you just shut up?!" He said standing up. It looked like he would leave so I was forced to stop (for once)

"O-Okay... I-I'm sowwy, dude. I was just wowwied"

He layed back down and sighed. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry to have reacted like that, it's just a bit frustrating, but I told you I'm fine! I'll deal with it myself"

"But can't I at least twy to help?" As I said this, I instinctively placed my paw over his

The pup looked to my paw over his surprised and flinched, pulling his paw away and rushed to stand up. His eyes wide open like he'd just seen a ghost as he mumbled "I should head back" and quickly headed back to the Lookout. The mix almost vanished in the darkness of the night. And even though I was really hurt, I had to follow him, sadly with only one thought in my mind,

_He left because of me... _

Rocky's POV

_Urgh, what was I even doing? I LEFT him! But what was I supposed to do? I can't just love him, this whole love nonesense is not for me. I made that mistake before, it's not happening again_

_What is even the point of it? It doesn't change anything major, except that it hurts and changes people. I can't do that to myself or to Zuma. I doubt he would even love me, yet there I go making everything weird_

_So I guess I refuse to love him because I care. I don't know if you'd call that love, but not loving someone because you love them is ridiculously ironic_

_On the other hand, he seemed so heartbroken. Is that a sign or something? But he could still just be a worried friend... oh, god, this far too complicated. There are no equations or official rules for this one, and thanks to that I am now running away from my best friend who is chasing after me_

I reached my pup house panting, and turned around to see the lab running after me come to a stop. I yelped as I felt Zuma crash onto me till we were both on the ground with him on top

"I'm sowwy, dude, I didn't expect you to stop like that... w-why did you wun?"

I stammered as I got back up, "W-Well I just thought t-that s-since it was l-late... I m-mean, well y-you know... we should go to s-sleep"

"By wunning away with no explanation?" The lab questioned with a raised eyebrow. He knew very well I was lying

"I'll- uh... I'll explain it tomorrow. G-Goodnight" I said before heading inside

The lab, satisfied with my answer but still understandably perplexed, muttered a goonight and returned to his pup house

I sighed as I went inside. "I doubt this is getting any easier soon. And if I can't just avoid him all the time, what will I do?" I plopped onto my bed and let out a muffled frustrated scream into my blanket before wrapping myself with it.

_Am I a fool for hanging onto him? Or am I a fool for letting him go?_ My eyes became watery as the image of my previous family came to mind

_What the heck, am I getting emotional now? _

_No, no, no, no, no, no. This can't be. It's all stupid and unnecessary... let's just be logical: I feel... things for Zuma, but at the end of the day all those wishes and hopes and silly feelings only make us weak. Becoming dependent of him isn't going to help either one of us and it might just be intoxicating. I am smarter than that. I guess you might say I'm too smart to love, and as humble as I try to be I can't deny what appears to be the evident truth_

_The answer? Deny it. Feeling can't affect me unless I acknowledge them, and if choose not to I should be able to continue my life as if nothing had ever happened. I'll apologize to Zuma, I'll make up an excuse and I'll repair our relationship... as best friends_

_There you go, Rocky. You have a plan, all that's left is to execute it. Easy as that... easy... urgh, I wish Danny was here. He'd comfort me and know just what to do to help me get through_

_But he's not, and I don't need him or anyone else to get by. I'm just fine either way_, I said to myself before emptying out all the thoughts going on in my head and slowly drifting to sleep

And right then and there, it hit me. _It's a bit of a gambit, but I __think__ I know how to fix all this for us_

Zuma's POV

I slowly opened my eyes to the inside of my pup house. Last night was a hanful, and really... confusing, I guess

Doesn't matter, though. Rocky promised to tell me whatever it is that happened, and I plan to hold him to that, but much smoother than last night so he doesn't- well, you know how it went

I quickly stretched and stepped out. I walked like a zombie from the lack of sleep the night before. I went to sleep at like 3 or 4am...

I headed to Rocky's pup house and knocked on the door. I waited for a few seconds but I didn't hear anyone inside. Maybe the sleepiness got to him

"Wocky?" I called from outside, yet still no response. _Maybe I should let him sleep some more, it's pretty early anyway... wait, what time is it?_

I went back into my pup house to look at the time

"6:32?! Urgh, no wondew evewyone else was asleep, including Wocky... I would've looked weally stupid to wake him up so early fow no weason. I'll just go back to sleep"

But as I was about to do so, I heard a faint sound coming from the Lookout, like clanking metal

Tiredness was great, but curiosity was greater. I walked inside and was surprised to find Rocky working on the jetski we found but never really finished. It looked almost perfect now, with a freshly placed layer of white waterproof paint

Rocky looked at me and smiled. "Hey, Zoom. Whatcha doing up so early? I hope you're not mad, but I wanted to finish up our- more like your- jetski as a surprise, so... surprise!"

_He did this for me? Then there must be something going on..._

"What about last night?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was feeling-"

"About what?" I interrupted. My heartbeat began speeding up every second. I could almost hear it beat by beat, like a loud drum inside my head

"I've been feeling down lately because we don't hang out like we used to. Remember how much fun we had? We'd hang out like crazy, especially since we were the less needed of the team. But then we got more missions and more members and more stuff to do. Plus now you have become more friends with the other pups who share more of your interests, meanwhile I'm like a complete opposite of you. I feel a little forgotten to be honest, and so I didn't know to react. I kmow I should've said something but you probably know I'm not that good at sharing my feelings and all that... b-but I intend to fix it! Today should be kind of a slow day, so I decided maybe a gesture would speak more words than I ever could and much more easily. So what do you say..." Rocky tried to alter his voice to sound like those guys from the movies,"wanna take this baby for a ride?"

My heart finally returned to a more normal pace, and I gotta admit that did strike me as a little suspicious, but then again, this is Rocky we're talking about, and the sweet genius truly doesn't know how to handle his emotions... but impression was so horrible and hilarious I couldn't help but to break out laughing

Rocky smiled at me as I barely managed to breathe. "D-Dude, no offense but... you'we so bad at it it's hilarious" I said and continued to giggle now more quietly, eventually coming to an end

"None taken" he smiled. "So, what are we doing just standing there, let's go!" He said with excitement evident in his voice

"As much as I'd love to go now, we should pwobably wait till the othews wake up and have bweakfast and tell Wyder before we leave, but I love the enthusiasm" I said with a giggle

"Oh, yeah, that too... but afterwards, let's go!"

I laughed again and smiled at the mix. "I missed this side of you"

He smiled back. "It never really left, only you know how to bring it out"

After having everyone else wake up, we ate breakfast and headed to the beach to try out the new jet ski

We arrived at the beach, with the summer sun warming up the area, yet the sand was still cold from it being early in the morning. The beach was almost empty, with only a few people enjoying the soft breeze

We unhooked the jetski from Rocky's truck and brought it to the beach shore and started it. The engine made a weird sound but Rocky said it had to do with some of the recycled pieces but it wasn't gonna affect anything. I sat on the driver's seat and looked at the dashboard for the controls

"It took a lot of work but it's been set to function quite similarly to the other vehicles adjusted for pups to drive. So, go on and give it a try" the mix said jumping onto the passenger seat

I wasted no time and immediately pushed for the accelerator, bringing the jetski forward with great speed. "Oh, yeah, here we go!" I glanced to Rocky as I drove. He was terrified and holding onto the seat with his paws

"Come on, dude, just welax! Let loose and enjoy this!" The mix slowly took his hands off the seat and smiled in satisfaction

"Huh, this isn't as bad as I thought. This... this is actually pretty fun!" He yelled as he stood up to take it all in. Maybe not such a good idea since as soon as he did this, he slipped and fell out into the ocean

"WOCKY!" I yelled bringing the vehicle to a stop. I stood up and looked around, worry spreading through my body. "Wocky?!"

Soon afterwards I saw a grey, fur covered figure emerge out and laughing like crazy as he jumped back into the jetski. _I am so glad to have helped him get over his fear of water or this would've played out way differently_

I sighed in relief. "Oh, god... don't scawe me like that!" I said to the wet mix with a playful shove that almost threw him back into the ocean

"Alright, alright I'm sorry" he responded while still catching his breath from all the laughing. "Did I really scare you that much?" He questioned with a smile

"Maybe..."

He smiled. "You know, I thought this was a bit of a gambit. I knew it'd be risky to try to bring us back the way we were all of a sudden, and I was afraid you'd back out and it would make things even harder for us... but I had faith that this was no fool's gambit. And I gotta say, it's worth it"

_Talking__ about a gambit..._

It was right at that moment, I did what could be the most regrettable thing I've done, or the thing I've been most sure about in my entire life

And what did I do? Well... I kissed him

**Hello, amazing people of FFN! Hope you're all taking care, especially with the whole quarantine and all. I'd just like to remind you all that a full version of this story containing another two chapters I have yet to publish here is available on wattpad! Making an account is easy and quick, it's just so that you can show your support there where I'm most active, check out some of my other books (all of which are side projects about different topics, not real stories), and stay up to date with this book and also see my announcements whether story related or just to chat. I personally find that platform to be much more user-friendly and I because I started here sometime after starting this book, I didn't want to throw you all the chapters at once. But it's still on wattpad if you want! You can find me under the same username, or the story under the same name. Until next time!**

**—LSMMPGBFECLRMCFD**


	11. Inconsequential

_I kissed him..._

I actually kissed him. My face was flushed scarlet and my blood was boiling. I slowly opened my eyes, worried I might see him trying to pull away. His amber eyes were wide with surprise but he made no effort to break our kiss.

_Is this a dream? Why does time feel like it's moving so slowly? There's no way I'm passionately kissing my best friend_.

Yet soon enough, I could feel the mix melt into the kiss as he accepted my embrace. I was surprised yet happy as he deepened it. It wasn't at all like I imagined, because in my mind he'd be a bit awkward and shy, but in a cute way. And we'd both be blushing madly as we got lost in each other's eyes...

Clearly, I'd been thinking about this a lot- but that's not the point. Rocky was kissing back with an unexpected but welcome passion. My heart was racing and I could feel the warmth radiating from him send shivers down my spine.

When he finally broke the kiss, his muzzle was flushed the same pinkish-red as the beautiful sunrise behind him. I was no doubt as red as Marshall's fire truck.

"Wocky, I-" before I could finish, he pulled me closer and rested his forehead against mine as he gazed into my eyes with a new expression of peace and relief. Rocky didn't look nervous or anxious like usual, he looked... happy. I closed my eyes with a sigh of a mix of joy and relief

_He loves me!_, I thought. _I never expected this to happen. After months of obsession and longing, I have an answer._

If it weren't for the lack of space and preserving the mood of the moment, I would literally be jumping all around with joy. _He finally knows how I feel- and he seems to feel the same!_

I slowly opened my eyes again to look at him. I open my mouth to speak, but what I saw was so shocking after what had happened. His expression turned to one of worry, right before turning into an uncomfortable and hesitant look. _But how could that be? Is he not the same pup I was kissing mere seconds ago?_

I was so deeply confused at the moment, I could almost feel the anxiety creeping up on me, but I tried to hold a smile on my face- just hoping everything would be resolved and we could go back to that short little moment where even if just for one second, it seemed as if all of our worries vanished into thin air...

Rocky's POV

The kiss was just so... so good. But thinking back on everything, it is clear I shouldn't let a stupid kiss win over my rationality. Yet part of me still wants to and it's like they're both battling over the decision, making me feel so light headed. I shook it out to try to focus

I spoke with certain uncertainty, but it had to be said. It had to be done. "Z-Zuma..." I said, trembling, and after mentioning his name no more words could escape my lips, as opposed to the thousands that I felt needed to be said

"Yes?" I could hear him softly reply. His tone was so quiet and soothing, his eyes staring deeply into mine, open wide as if he stood in awe to the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, with such a great and genuine smile, it's enough to make you happy for a long, long while

I took a deep breath and close my eyes to try to focus on what I would say. It was hard to say anything when he seemed so innocently happy, though I could see after opening my eyes as his smile continue to fade as he noticed I was acting strange

"I need a moment... away" I said, still hesitant, before being brought to reality and the realization that we were far from land, in a relatively small vehicle. There was nowhere to run, but I just couldn't continue. I needed a break and I needed one as fast as possible. I needed to get away, yet he approached me with his concerned look, until there was such a short gap between our muzzles that I could feel his breathing softly brushing through my face

"W-What's wrong?" He questioned. He once again stared deep into my eyes, this time with a look of such worry that would make any smile fade away purely from the shared concern and uncomfortable tension that filled the air, like a dense spore that made it more and more difficult to breathe

"I can't do this," I said quickly with regret for the whole moment I allowed to happen earlier. I took a step back and was forced to shift my look in the direction of my paws as I couldn't bear with the guilt inevitably provoked by the lab's expression

"But you... you kissed me," Zuma started in disbelief. "You kissed back! Where's the problem?! What can't you do?! Isn't this just the part where we live happily ever after?!" His rising tone made me reluctantly look back to him. He was shaking and his voice broke as he spoke. He choked back tears. I'd never seen him like this. This fragile in appearance

"But this isn't a fairy ta-"

"Then just tell me what the hell is the problem!" the lab screamed. "I-" his voice broke once more, "... I deserve to know... You make a nice gesture, you take me out for a fun day to a reclusive spot with just the two of us... you kiss back, and now you're telling me you don't love me?" Zuma was speaking more quietly now, not worrying about the steady flow of tears down his face."What, is it because I'm a dude too?"

"What? No!" Rocky responded quickly. "Dude, I assure you it's not even near to being the whole 'but he's a guy' bullsh*t. I'm well over that. But what were you expecting to happen? We'd just live happily ever after? It doesn't work like that, Zuma... this whole limerence thing in itself is so primal and stupid. Have you even considered what happens next? It risks crossing boundaries over our professional relationships, and what about our goals in life? I'm not going to be stuck here, I plan to live a life of my own. And we are both very different pups... it just wasn't meant to be" I practically whisper to him, trying myself not to make a huge deal over the situation. I can't let it take over me

"So you just plan to abandon me before you even give it a chance? You are such a lovable and fricking stupid pup, aren't you," he scolded with no regret and wiped the few tears left on his muzzle. The rest had dried out

"What did you just call me?" I said, with a more serious tone. His kind words combined with an insult and all said in a mean tone gave off mixed signals, yet I felt the need to respond to his change in attitude

"You heard me," Zuma muttered. "You just always think you know everything and pretend like you're too smart to love yet even you know deep down you're just scared. You're scared that you don't understand as much as you thought you did. You're scared to get hurt again." He took a step closer and said, in a more reassuring, soft tone, "but you don't have to be scared of giving us a try. You of all people should know it's only logical to give it a try" and with that, he took my paw

I pulled away in a quick motion. I stiffened my body and deadpanned. "It's only a waste of time... look, whatever you were expecting isn't happening. I just came here to fix a friendship so that everything could go back to normal. So if you don't mind, I need to drive us back to shore so I can return to the lookout" I said sounding like an emotionless robot. At this point, even that doesn't sound quite bad

Yet the lab stood up straight and tall, looked me in the eyes and said, in a cold, defiant voice, "No."

I looked at him annoyed. "No what"

"I'm not letting you run away from this like you do with all your other problems. Hell, this shouldn't even be a problem; you're making it one" Zuma said with such confidence and arrogance in his words it just made me want to push him overboard and drive away

I didn't respond but simply stared at him with a blank look. He sighed and sniffled, trying not to let more tears out. We stood there in a few seconds of awkward silence, except this time he stared broken hearted through watery eyes while I stared coldly, wanting for him to just get over it. At any other moment I would console him...but not now. The things he said without a hint of regret. Thinking only he has the voice of reason in this and acting like I was being insensible. I was definitely mad at him at this point

Suddenly, I feel the lab quickly pulling me in for another kiss, but before he can even touch his muzzle to mine I instinctively flash my paws out to push him away. I didn't measure my strength; I just shoved him away and wasn't even hesitant or worried about the effects as I heard him hit the ground with a thud.

It all changed when I looked to see a claw mark on the side of his muzzle.

_Blood_

He reached up to touch it and winced at the burning sensation of the fresh cut

It all felt so different when he looked back up to me. His eyes, just a minute ago showed passion, then confusion, heart break... now, they raged with anger. A type of anger I'd never seen ever before. I regretted so much of what just happened but it was too late.

He got on all fours and glared at me with a stare so icy it could freeze the entire ocean around us. He growled at me with a deep and menacing force behind it as if he was about to tear me apart.

I gulped. Trying my best to keep my body from shaking, I took a step back and carefully speak up. "Z-Zuma, I-I'm so s-sorry, I didn't m-mean to d-do th-that...". He didn't respond. It was as if my once best friend was completely gone. I was face to face with an intimidating, anger driven beast...

"Z-Zoom?" I asked with fear evident in my voice

One second. One strike. He swung forward and striked me clear across my muzzle, going much deeper than I had when I hit him

It was at that moment that everything just stopped making sense. I had to strike back. Everything went pitch black as I started viciously attacking the lab, and with my claws fully visible started swinging and striking across everything I encountered. Biting, if necessary

Good thing we were far off shore for anyone to notice the violent fight we had come to have. Never in all our past years had we taken part in a physical, literal fight. But this was real, alright

The sky became cloudy and the day became dark in a matter of minutes, as if waiting for dramatic effect. To this day, I still regret the occurrences of that day. To be honest, my mind pretty much blocked most of it from my memories; though I don't quite blame it

One thing that did stand out in my memory was the aftermath

I opened my eyes, feeling the injuries sting, mostly open wounds of scratches and a few bites. I looked to the side of the relatively small vehicle to find the lab curled up into a ball, whimpering from the injuries he himself had endured. It was the sight of him that brought me back

Realizing what I had done, my mind was overloaded with thoughts, worries, memories, and visions of what would happen next. As everything flooded my mind, I stumbled back, shivering, until I had no more room to stand. I suddenly fell backwards, my vision of Zuma twisting as I descended over the side of the craft into the ocean.

I was far too tired to swim and too overloaded with panic to focus. I instinctively tried to take a breath but only filled my lungs with water, causing me to drown faster. I flailed my paws frantically and helplessly, knowing that I just had to accept my fate. Once again, I felt the all too familiar feeling of losing consciousness as the ocean water appeared to have become darker and darker until I inevitably sunk into the cold, empty abyss  
-

Hours had passed before I regained consciousness. I slowly opened my eyes to see Ryder and the pups standing near me; Zuma included. I was back at the lookout

"You're finally up! We were getting worried" Ryder said

"What happened?" I asked, groggy

"Zuma told us about your incident encountering those strays and almost drowning. We're just glad you're okay. Katie said with some rest all your wounds would heal in no time"

I gave Zuma a confused look. He shrugged, still looking really unhappy.

_At least they bought it, _I thought. But I had no time to think about this or him, I just wanted to get back to my pup house

"If you'll excuse me, I should leave to rest," I said jumping off the bed where I was put

I yelped as I landed; pain shot up from my front right paw. It was bandaged. I grunted as I walked limp towards my pup house

I heard the pups call to me confused, but I didn't bother to look back as I headed to my truck. Luckily Ryder understood and let me go.

Peace and quiet is all I needed.

I gave a frustrated sigh as I entered, thinking about what happened. I wanted to forget everything yet my mind kept repeating the incidents on my head

I never imagined it would go that way. It was way beyond unexpected, and it hurt me more to know that I hurt him than any hits and scratches I received. And right at that moment, I gasped with such fear as I came to the realization that I myself was experiencing the very same thing that had been hunting me for years. What I did- I was becoming him. I was becoming father

Breathing became harder. My body went numb. I felt very lightheaded as I stumbled through my pup house, pushing things to the ground as my body fought to stay in balance

Inevitably, after seconds of stumbling around barely conscious, I felt my body hit the cold metal ground, filled with papers and little written notes everywhere

_How could I let this happen? This is all my fault... I let myself fall for him, and I ended up hurting him, badly. I wasn't even thinking... what if he had died? In my arms? I would never forgive myself if that were to happen, yet even then he still rescued me and I didn't thank him. So now I... I became just like father_

I let out a flow of tears slowly making their way down my face, falling into the papers below me, making the ink unreadable and thus destroying all the written notes I had laying nearby

But I didn't care. In fact, I was too hurt to even notice. I grabbed a bunch of wet papers and crumbled them with my paw into a fist. A million thoughts went through my head, too many to process which only gave me a nauseating pain. Many more memories of _that _day invaded, just adding to the headache. And to make it even worse, the images of Zuma after _I_ hurt him started flashing in my mind. All at the same time. The overwhelming emotion was just far too much

_I just want it to stop. I just want all of it to stop_, I thought with only more tears flowing to accompany the feeling

Suddenly, among all the massive chaos of thoughts and memories of the past and present, one very short but lucid memory appeared. I can still remember it like it was yesterday...

_It was an unusually stormy night many years ago. Back when it was just me, an orphan mutt, and his owner, a loving 12 year old boy_

_It didn't typically rain this much. It was pouring so much outside, you could hear the loud sounds of the accumulated raindrops hitting the ceiling. It was late at night, but it was also raining too hard for anyone to be out on such conditions. Danny peeked out the open window to admire the view. His fascination for rain was unbelievable, yet understandable once you stood by him, just like I did that day. I peeked out the window beside him as my nose was welcomed by the amazing smell of wet grass from the frontyard. That cool, humid smell was so relaxing; combined with the sounds of the rain splashing on the ground, anyone could easily fall asleep to the calming sensation_

_And so we stood for quite sometime, just peacefully watching the rain. It rained for hours upon hours, and the best part is father wouldn't be home until much later in the day, so it was just us. Although it didn't seem to last long. Maybe we both just lost track of time thanks to the soothing sound of the rain, but one blink and hours had gona by. It was already nighttime_

_The sound of keys clinging took us both out of the trance induced by the fallong rain. It was now 40 minutes past Danny's bedtime, and if father saw him still up he would get mad. Really mad_

_He instinctively dashed in direction to his bedroom. I followed closely behind him with fear as I knew what was coming if we were caught. Yet it was too late. Before Danny could make it to the room, the front door opened. In came a drunken father, as he usually did, ready to pass out in the couch until having to deal with his hangover in the morning. Except this time something called his attention: us_

_Danny froze the moment he felt his father's glare land on him. He looked over at father standing in the hallway to his bedroom as he said with the most annoyed and angry tone possible, pausing shortly after each word, "what-the-hell-are-you-doing-up?"_

_Danny quivered. After a long pause, he said shaking, "I-I just lost t-track of t-time" _

_Knowing what would soon happen I cowardly moved to a corner where I stood watching the whole thing_

_Father didn't seem to believe him. He walked in our direction and while I stood cowardly with my backagainst the wall, he leaned down standing face to face with Danny, probably sending down a nasty breath full of alcohol, and stared at him menacingly. The poor boy continued to tremble in fear_

_"I guess I gotta teach you a fucking lesson once more, huh?" Father said in a raising tone _

_"No, please don't. I swear I'll behave," Danny pleaded. _

_Normally this would just be the point father looked at him with disbelief and yelled more as he abused him until he could barely stand on his feet and send him to bed before he passed out. _

_This time, however, father was unbelievably merciful, though probably from being too drunk and tired to abuse him this time. "You're off for tonight. But get to your bed before I change my mind" he said dismissively. _

_Danny didn't bother to speak at this once in a lifetime occasion. He raced to his room as fast as he could and I followed, finally after gluing myself off the corner wall like the coward I was_

_As we both settled in his bed (which father was against but I slept with him anyway for mutual comfort), Danny started weeping with silent sobs. But he managed to pull himself together before falling to tears completely and alerting father. He took a deep breath and sung a short little song his mother taught him a long time before when he couldn't getover his irrational fear of a home intruder coming into the house and murder his parents, taking everything they had with them. It was like his own worryingly realistic version of the monster in the closet_.

[Back to the present]

I closed my eyes and sang along to the memory of Danny singing a little song to calm himself down...

~When it's just a little lullaby...  
This is just a little lullaby to keep myself from crying myself  
A little lullaby to keep, keep-  
My eyes from always crying, this is just a little lullaby  
I'm trying to get myself to fall asleep, sleep  
It's just a little lullaby...~

Danny said to sing this repeatedly until things got better or you drifted onto sleep. I must've sung this over a hundred times that night. Whatever I did, I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen next, and what Zuma said.

"_You just always think you know everything and pretend like you're too smart to love yet even you know deep down you're just scared. You're scared that you don't know this as much as you thought you did. You're scared to get hurt again"_

_Was he wrong? Or does what happened today only prove me right?_

_Maybe love might be worth a chance. Just maybe. But either way, I fucked up way too bad to retreat_

**Hello again, amazing people of FFN! Thank you to everyone for supporting my story! And special thanks to The_Phoenix6070 for the help with the beginning hehe. Got kinda stuck so he helped me out. You should check out his amazing story, Ashes! (Also RxZ) And while we're there, might wanna check out Taurusology_ . She's an amazing writer as well and has several works of amazing quality**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you all next time!**

**-LSMMPGBFECLRMCFD**


	12. Underneath the Waves

_2 weeks after Zuma joined the Paw Patrol_

"Zuma wins again!" Skye cheered

"You need to need to step up your game, Chase. This is the thiwd time I've beat you at Pup Pup Boogie!© " Zuma exclaimed before howling in victory

"Yeah, yeah. You only won because I was tired. I need an empowering nap" the shepherd defended, earning a giggle from Skye and Marshall, who were watching the two and knew he'd just woken up from a nap not too long ago as it was a slow day

"Wiight" Zuma responded jokingly, followed by a giggle. He found it funny how Chase always seemed eager to defend his pride, no matter what

Leaving his thoughts aside, the lab immediately smiled as he spotted the wallflower in the room

Laying against the wall near the corner, Rocky was comfortably reading a book- per usual. Zuma trotted over to the pup and began in his typical, friendly tone

"Hey, dude! You wanna go against me in Pup, Pup Boogie? Not to bwag, but I'm on a stweak, and I need some new competitows" the lab proposed, looking at the mix who didn't take his eyes off the book

"I appreciate the offer, but no thanks. I'd rather stay here and read" he answered sounding indifferent

"Aww, but you'we _always_ weading! Don't you get tiwed of doing that all the time?" He titled his head

"Don't you get tired of dancing to the same song all the time on pup pup boogie?" The grey haired pup replied in a monotone, flipping the page

"Well- I mean... that's not the point. You need to go on and have some fun for once, dude. So come join us!" The lab put his book down with his paw, making Rocky look up at him

"But I am having fun" the bibliolater whined

"What're you weading anyways? You hadn't taken your eyes off that thing in _ages_"

"It's a book all about the CDC." Rocky's eyes lit up in excitement as he finished his sentence

"Why are you reading about the Center of Disease Control?"

"No, the other CDC. The Canine Development Center" Rocky explained, holding the book close to his chest

"What's that?" The lab asked dumbfounded and curious

"You haven't heard of it? It's like every pup's dream!" The mix gave a short pause, "Well it's my dream at least. But anyways, the CDC, or Canine Development Center, is an organization that prides itself in its work between dogs and humans to develop new technology and discoveries in order to help make a better world for everyone, whether biped or quadruped," the mix stated from memory straight off the book's own definition like a computer. "Their full name is technically the Center of Research, Intelligence, and Development for Canines and Humans Alike, or CRIDCHA, but it wasn't as catchy"

"Uhh, that sounds pretty cool, I guess. Is that why you were reading about it, because it's your dream?

"Yep!" The mix answered enthusiastically. "I know for a fact I'll be working there in a matter of years. I'm thinking mechanical engineering, but I'm still deciding. They have so many options!" The normally shy pup's tail couldn't stop wagging, but he didn't care to refrain from it when it came to his passion

Zuma, however, seemed less excited. Instead he looked somewhat concerned

"But what about the Paw Patrol? I thought you were gonna stay here in adventure bay and help people, like we do now"

Rocky shook his head, "Oh, please. Don't get me wrong, I love working for the Paw Patrol, but they're a stepping stone towards my bigger goal- think about it, isn't it better to aim higher so I can help a lot more people in the future? Who knows what I can discover or build with their resources. Plus it'll be hella fun!" He cheered

"I mean, I guess... you seem to have made up your mind about it. But what about your friends here? Like me, Ryder, or Chase, or Marshall"

"Ryder, I'm sure he'd understand. It's not like my job is very crucial anyways. I mean, I love doing it, but when you compare firefighter, police, and water rescue with '_recycling_', it doesn't seem to be quite the same level of importance. And, you know, I doubt the other two pups would care. I've been here for longer than you and yet you still managed to become closer to them than I ever did"

"What about me? I'm your friend. They're my friends too, but I also like hanging out with you" Zuma remarked sweetly

Rocky smiled. "Thanks. I promise to stay in touch when that happens"

Zuma returned the smile. "I'm not gonna push you away from your dream, but I'll just say you can never be so sure about it. Who knows, maybe the Paw Patrol will win you over in this time and you may choose to stay"

Rocky quickly dismissed the idea in his head. "Yeah, right, _like that would ever happen_..."

Rocky chuckled at the memory. Their past sure was a lot sweeter than their current situation

Zuma's prediction was indeed true. As time passed, he stopped seeing the Paw Patrol as just a team, but as a family. And as such he decided not to leave them, even if it was the dream of the boy he used to belong to before joining; family comes first

However, things changed. After literally fighting his best friend, and knowing what a disaster it'll be for them if Ryder found out, Rocky decided it was best to return to pursuing the old dream. Which is what led him here, sitting in front of his little desk, and changing the course of his future with a pen and paper by writing a letter of application to the CDC

"Should I lie about my experience? I bet most who are trying to join must have way better things down than having worked with an unofficially established team in a city they've never heard of," he mumbled to himself

Finally, he stood back to reread it, carefully analyzing each and every single word in the letter. His left paw holding the pen, the claws in his right clenched onto his skin ever so tightly to relieve anxiety

He dropped the pen and grunted. "Too repetitive" he said with frustration clear in his voice, crumpling up the paper with his free arm and throwing it in a pile along the other 6 failed attempts

He couldn't wing it on something like this. With the amount of highly skilled and experienced dogs attempting to join, he had to strive for perfection. That meant every word had to be the right one. _What if it's not perfect? They'll surely have no trouble throwing it into the garbage_

He held on tighter to his left foreleg. He wasn't about to let that happen

He started over, tensely writing a similar version of his last letter and attempting to avoid the same mistakes and carefully choosing each word like he was choosing a mate

_Wait-_

_... _

_Bad example, Rocky_

He did his best to ignore the thought and continued with the task

After he finished writing it, he once again stood back to carefully reexamine what he wrote. He pressed his claws deeper into his flesh, feeling his heartbeat increase as he analyzed his current attempt, looking for another error

The overflowing worry in the mix was quickly consumed by the echoing silence of the room

Time was in fact _not_ of the essence, but to Rocky it was. The faster he applied, the faster they'd get back to him. He knew Ryder was smart but also caring, he wasn't gonna let go of the issue until he got to the very bottom of it- and sadly because Zuma's excuse of "encountering those strays" won't hold up for long. Ryder will surely want to find them, leading to an unnecessary search mission set to fail... plus if they ask any questions about it and their stories don't add up, they'll know something's fishy

_Urgh, when did this all get so complicated? I went from falling in love to fighting my crush and lying to my friends. There's only one way out of this one_

He focused back on the paper in front of him and noticed a lot of unnecessary details here and there, and rambling in some parts. All things that were simply _unacceptable_

"I should just burn this one" Rocky stated with such desperation and disappointment as he crumpled up and threw yet another try full of mistakes. He gave a long sigh; he was still far from finally making a good letter

And so continued two of what felt like endless, miserable shots at the same goal. All gone to the corner. All for nothing

He stared at the finished product of a third desperate attempt almost with hatred in his heart

Never before in his life had he been so angry at a paper; they used to be his main source of happiness

Now, he knew one more error and he would go insane, if he hadn't already.

A hint of hope surfaced in Rocky's voice. "Coherent, flows well, straightforward but detai-"

_Splat_

A drop of the thick, red liquid fell on the center of the paper, making the mix's ear twitch at the sound

He turned his head towards the tiny red spot contrasting the white paper, yet his mind it was far too busy to react to it

_Splat_

This time, the gentle sound was enough to snap the mix back into reality. He looked at the letter in realization and with extreme frustration surfacing

"DAMMIT" he shouted at the top of his lungs, crumpling up his 11th screwup and throwing it into his pup house door, making it bounce and hit the floor next to him

Knowing he wasn't gonna get anywhere at this rate, the mix opened the door to his pup house and walked out for some air and time to gather his thoughts as he headed to the Lookout

As soon as both his forelegs hit the ground, he felt a sting in his left as a repercussion of before, but decided to ignore it and continued walking

He was starting to feel less tense until the thought of encountering Zuma crossed his mind. The pup froze in place, unwanted memories of their fight flashed in his mind.

The fresh blood from the cuts of them both, the flashing claws and swinging paws with malicious intent.

But more importantly, the look of despair on the lab's face after they returned home

Before he continued walking, he pressed harder on the same spot as before, attempting to forcibly push out the thoughts overflowing in his head, but to no avail. _Deep breaths, Rocky... deep breaths_

Taking a short pause to focus on his breathing, he then continued his trajectory whilst submerged in worries, the familiar annoying stinging sensation returning as he did so. Regardless, he just couldn't stop thinking about that familiar, outgoing, water loving pup

He just wasn't sure what'd be of them now. They were such good friends- they could count on each other for anything and share all their secrets. But after that kiss and everything that happened that day, well, things would change. He was aware that Zuma probably hated him and the cover was just so he wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of getting into a fight with his own coworker and friend

But of course, not wanting to revisit that awful memory ever again, the mix would blame the loss of his friend on the kiss. That's the only reason that could fit in Rocky's logical thinking brain; had they not kissed and remained friends, no fight would've occurred. It was so simple in his eyes, he wondered how the lab could possibly see it any other way

Anyhow, he had to do something to handle the situation at least before he gets accepted into the CDC. It wasn't gonna be easy, but if they wanted to keep the unforgettable events of their fight a secret, he and Zuma would have to work together

_Speaking of the cute devil_, Rocky thought as he saw the infamous pup he wouldn't stop thinking about. We winced at the stinging pain that persisted but kept walking their way

_I got this, all I have to do is be nice and pretend nothing happened. Simple..._

"Hey, Zuma!" The mix called somewhat energetically to the lab who was talking to Marshall, but failed to see the exasperated sigh from him after hearing Rocky call his name

However, it was strange to see their reactions. The look of shock on both their faces as they turned to face him- they were absolutely horrified. The dally just as much as the lab

_Did... he... tell him?_ Rocky stopped and cocked his head, feeling lightheaded and confused at the two pups' wordlessness. He tried to clutch onto his foreleg once again but this time the sting was back, concerningly increasing the level of pain until it drowned every other thought running through his mind

He felt himself losing balance as the world went quiet. He didn't know what was going on, but the two now did seem to be moving their mouths as they approached, only he couldn't hear a sound

"Z-Zoom?" He looked at his red-covered paw then quickly moved it forward to keep himself from falling, but failed to stay in his feet as he dropped down to the floor

"He's waking up!" Marshall exclaimed after hearing the heart monitor slightly increase, making the other pup and Katie gather up around the barely conscious pup

"Wha- Argh!" The mix winced in pain as he tried to get up from the little hospital-like bed where he was laying. However, with any better look it was clearly Katie's clinic

"Take it easy, you're still injured from whatever it is that happened to your front leg" said Katie, checking the bandage and unhooking the little heart rate monitor she had set up in case of any complications

Rocky looked at his bandaged foreleg. _Must've been from holding onto it so hard. Man, was I really that numb?_

He saw Zuma whisper something to the other two, who nodded hesitantly and walked out of the room

The lab sighed as they did. "Vasovagal attack? A bleeding leg with claw marks? Wocky, what the hell did you do?" He asked sounding concerned

Rocky remained silent for a short while before changing the subject and asking meekly. "What did Ryder say last night, after you explained our injuries and, well, me drowning." He avoided eye contact for the most part except an occasional glimpse or two

"Not gonna answer? Alright then. He believed it, but now he, Chase and Skye are out asking around and searching for whoever is responsible. Since I told them I never got a good look at any of them, Marshall stayed behind to keep us company after the 'attack' and make sure we both were okay" Zuma answered, not annoyed or angry but not in his usual, chill tone either. Something was clearly bothering him, and the mix was willing to bet it was because of the tension of the aftermath

"We'll have to find a way to drive them away from the search, maybe we ca-"

"What's gonna happen next?" Zuma quickly interrupted anxiously, peculiar of him

"I guess we bring the search to an en-"

"Between us. Last time we talked about how we felt we ended up trying to kill each other"

"I, uh... I'm sorry about that. I was the one who started it when I hurt you, but I didn't mean it to go that way"

"I know, but it was my fault too. I was so emotional and I went ballistic. There's just so much I've been having to deal with on my end too, you know? And after that kiss, when you seemed to change your mind I just- I couldn't control myself..." the pup shed a tear as he continued, "but what's gonna be of us now?"

"I wish I knew," Rocky gave a sympathetic smile to the lab who was on the verge of a breakdown

"I just... I thought I could get you to put your guard down, and I was ready to help you see that love isn't bad and... now I'm just not so sure. I mean, you're so stubborn about what you think. You never even hear out others' opinions because you've got your mind so set about love, and to be fair, I never really understood you. I tried and tried and I never stopped trying, but I just couldn't." Zuma sniffled and made a short pause. "You know, maybe we just weren't meant to be from the start"

Rocky was shocked. He never expected to hear those words. Especially since the last time he asked him about love. He remembered so vividly the happiness the lab tried but failed to hide when he said he had a crush, which was now clear to be him

He was so thrilled at the idea of being in love. _Now I took his joy and flushed it down the drain. I didn't mean to, but..._

"I think you're right"

A few seconds of awkward silence followed. The two just sat there, unsure of what to say next until Zuma spoke up

"Wocky?"

"Yeah?"

"Before you passed out, and again when we were on the jet ski, you called me Zoom" (Zum, spelling changed to fit the pronunciation)

"I-I guess I did... "

"It's cute. Don't do it again," he said coldly without looking at the other pup and walked towards the door. "Come on, we gotta catch up to them. Although we won't find anything, we can at least make good use of our patrolling to look for real problems in the city"

"Guess you don't plan to tell them either. Though I didn't take you as the kind of pup to be alright with lying to everyone"

"I'm not, but I want to stay in the team. Let's go." With this, the two headed outside and called Ryder before joining them in a patrol for non-existent strays, luckily finding a problem or two in that time so they weren't completely wasting their time

The team was curious and concerned of how the mix got his injury, but he constantly dismissed the question

Truth is, Rocky was lucky to have the ability to rationalize his actions in his head, that way he'd avoid the guilt of lying. But he worried for the other pup, who despite the 'chill' attitude was probably very uneasy about not telling the truth

The night soon came and the team had to head home. They managed to get a few missions on the way despite their initial goal, which obviously led nowhere. Many people had reported seeing a stray or two somewhere at some point, but nothing in relation to an attack, and Ryder tried to comfort the two saying they'll "find them soon"

_Always keeping your hopes up, huh Ryder? __Too bad we won't get anywhere with this,_ The mix thought walking under the night sky

_Finally here_, he thought, looking at the beach before him. He didn't know why, or at least why at this time, but something compelled him to visit the place again in what felt like ages. After all, sleep was far from near

He sighed at the sight. On one hand, the beach reminded him of the fight. The pain, the blood. The rush of emotion and lies that followed, leaving the memory to be buried in the past like a decaying thought in an ocean of irrationality

But on the other hand, it was the beach. The reflection of the delicate moonlight caressing every tide, the smell of wet sand static in the air around him, clinging to his being. The beautiful silence of the place that spoke a thousand words. Sure, some were of regret, but most were treasured memories

Tears surfaced in the mix's gazing eyes, mirroring the waves we was watching. He stepped closer into the coming tides, but stopping where the water just barely hit him. It was cold, but he didn't mind

He felt like he was having a conversation with the sea. Like he told the flowing water all that had happened with him, and with that cool midnight breeze full of memories, the beach spoke to him. It said that he understood his pain, but even Zuma, the greatest surfer Rocky knew, didn't fight the waves; he rode them, and with grace and delicacy, no matter how big or rough. So why should he fight it?

After so long, he was still fighting it. Whether love or emotion in general, he always chose to fight it. And now, he couldn't deny it

_He's underneath the waves..._

Of course this was completely nonsensical. It's impossible to have a conversation with the ocean, and he knew it. But there was just something about staring at the reflection of the water and breathing in that familiar scent that made him feel like he was in the right place.

_Only something was missing_

Anywho, it was as if answers unveiled in the few shells left behind by the tides. And for that quick moment, Rocky understood why Zuma loved the beach so much

It sure didn't look like much when he stood several feet away, frightened. But man was it _majestic_

This wasn't like him at all. The love for the beach, the optimistic views, the metaphors and the immense feeling that compelled him to swim his worries away

_He was turning into Zuma._

"From admiring the pup to wanting to be like him, huh" the mix said to himself, shaking his head and letting out a chuckle

He shuddered away the thought, stepping further into the cold water to shake off his fragile state

"Whatever, it's just dihydrogen monoxide over fragments of eroded rock, and the smell is simply molecules from the wet sand being perceived by my nose and registered by my olfactory senses in my brain. It doesn't have a mind. It doesn't have vocal cords; it cannot talk and it doesn't mean anything except that; water. I have no reason to like it, plus it just reminds me of him. That's the last thing I need right now" he concluded, his mind regaining focus and thus retreating to his logical side; the only place he really felt safe

Part of him knew he often used facts as a cover; fancy words that degraded everything back to a simple, logical state that he could actually understand

Emotions were always so complicated to him, where you could easily feel lost while knowing exactly where you are, or feel alone while surrounded by others. It sure hit him sometimes- after all he wasn't some unfeeling robot, but between the trauma and the complications involving love in his past, he felt more comfort in the rational side, and hoped he could simply fight the feelings his whole life

Like trying to fight a wave, or make it change direction. How would he save himself before drowning again, just like his father tried to drown him?

And he would have stayed in his shell if it wasn't for that pup

_That stupid, loving pup_

He took another step forward, ignoring the cold, and felt the release of the water as I floated over it and closed my eyes to take in the feeling

Rocky still wasn't sure why someone would ever do that. To go through the trouble of opening him from his shell and allow him to truly feel

He hated to admit it, but everything that happened was because of that. Zuma didn't really care about him knowing how to swim- what he really wanted all along was for him to feel like he never did before

"You won, Zuma. I just wish you were here to see it" Rocky then realized he was unconsciously padding on the water on his own

But yet, he couldn't help but wonder. _Is that why you did it? For love?_

The mix simply had trouble believing the lab would do such a thing. Especially for someone like himself. And to think that in the end his love for him died as fast as lightning; It flashes at the speed of light, unexpected and fast, and kinda beautiful too.

But then, just like lightning, it dies out, leaving behind a gruesome scene. Sometimes even setting it on fire.

Father went crazy; Danny was abused- But could it really be that love can have such a positive impact, too?

The thought alone scared him. He hadn't been so compelled to explore it ever since he first got a home from the streets. And now, after years of rejecting it, he was forced to face it once again. But at the least he did gain something from this- Zuma's not the bad guy. He might've fought with him and messed with his mind before, but truth is, the lab, just like himself, might just have been another victim of the same terrorising emotion

_Love_

**Hello, amazing people of FFN. I have to say that after all this time working on this story, I think I'll be on hiatus from writing. I enjoyed writing very much, especially this chapter which was actually written about two months ago. I didn't like my chapters much because they felt dull due to the lack of a certain level of detail and expression in the fiction that would take you beyond simply what was being said and done. This chapter, while not perfect, I felt was a much greater improvement**

**But things changed. Trying to force myself to write the next chapter has felt more like a chore than the hobby I so enjoyed. My passion for the overall story has sadly decayed. I don't know if this is a temporary thing, or maybe I just need to move on. I still have a soft spot for this story, especially being the first I've ever posted online, and even more so seeing the great response it got. However, I do not know if I can bring myself to continue, which is why it'll be on hiatus for some time. I want you to know that even if I do not continue it, I will not rest till I find someone I can trust who wants to help finish the few remaining chapters. I may still come back and complete it, but I find it less likely. Until I make a final decision, the story will remain on pause. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed all these chapters as much as I enjoyed writing them. Much love,**

**—LSMMPGBFECLRMCFD (no, it's not just a keyboard smash)**


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